


Seasons of Change

by vmicedance



Category: Ice skating - RPF
Genre: Ice Skating, RPF, TYCT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-09 13:16:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15268281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vmicedance/pseuds/vmicedance
Summary: "So interesting why we're both still single"People think that he's lying, think that the arm he slings around her back is his body betraying him. The things is, there are no lies leaving his mouth - they are both single, have been all along, and the skating has always come first.But now they are not just skating, now they are creating something together that is theirs, into which they will pour all of their energies, together. The tour is a thank you, it's a conclusion and it's all the time they need.





	1. Summer Sunlight

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by the TYCT interviews of the past few days, this is based on the theory that time together, pressure off, hearts open, will give them the time they have, up to yet denied themselves, to realise they are both 'right there'.

As a fresh summer morning dawned in Ilderton, a ray of new born sunlight lay across the collection of papers that Scott had deposited on the dining room table. Hand written notes scribbled on scraps of paper nestled amongst neatly typed and ordered schedules. 

“I don’t have an answer for you at the moment, I am afraid” Scott said into the telephone as he rubbed the space between his eyes with the first two fingers of his right hand “I will let you know as soon as I can...thank you...I will be in touch.” He ended the call and blew out a sigh of tiredness and frustration. 

The antique clock that hung on the wall opposite him told him that despite the fact that he had already been up for two hours, it was still only 8am. Turning his back on the destruction on the table, he headed to the kitchen for his third cup of coffee. 

He and Tessa had agreed that the next four or five weeks of the summer were reserved for family and friends and relaxation. Having spent the last two months in Japan, and given that they had been completely engrossed in their Olympic comeback for what seemed like a lifetime, they had wanted to make sure that there was some protected time for them to spend with the people closest to them. The Thank You Tour was about to become their entire existence for the foreseeable future, they had decided to do the absolute minimum amount possible towards it for the next two weeks. An email here and there, a couple of phone calls, but they had set the time aside for their families. So, when the coach company that they had booked to supply, drive and manage the tour bus had called Scott to say that the coach they had originally booked was no longer available, but they could offer some alternatives, he thought a phone call would be all it took to sort it out... not that simple! And when the arena in Oshawa had emailed with a list of the things they would not be able to provide, as requested, he had something else to deal with. He didn’t want to contact Tessa and spoil her break – she rarely got the time she needed with Jordan and her mom, and he knew that she trusted him to make decisions on behalf of both of them, just like he trusted her, so he was ‘dealing’ with it on his own. A few phone calls turned into a few long phone calls and a plethora of internet searches and email responses. What he thought would be small issue, small decisions, small changes were actually just the first dominoes to fall. If the bus was going to be different, would they still be able to fit all of their stuff into it? They had specially requested hanging space for costumes, but one of the buses on offer wouldn’t be able to offer that, but there was the possibility of a trailer. A trailer could possibly limit some of the roads and park-ups they could use, that could affect the route, that could affect the travel time, that could affect the time they were able to get the rink, or to the practice room in the local town that they had booked – the links went on and on, and before he knew it he was elbow deep in paper work, early morning phone calls and coach brochures. 

“Another early one, bro?” Danny’s sleepy voice entered the kitchen. 

“Morning” Scott replied “well, a ‘few things’ for the tour turned into a mountain of work and headaches” Scott replied, grabbing another cup from the cupboard and pouring coffee for Danny. 

Danny took the cup with gratitude and sat on one of the high stools in their childhood kitchen. He and Scott had promised each other a day of fishing on the lake, and he was looking forward to spending time with his little brother. They didn’t get much chance to spend time together anymore and both had been looking forward to the day for a while. 

“I just need to make another call, pack away all the papers I’ve strewn everywhere and then I will be ready to go” Scott assured his brother. 

“No worries” Danny replied “I will get the car all packed, you sort out what you need to.” 

“Thanks, Danny” Scott smiled as he headed back to the dining room. He was aware of how understanding his family were towards his work. He felt an amazing amount of gratitude for the support that they had given him, not just at the Olympics, but throughout his career, throughout his life. 

Scott set to work gathering the papers off the table, being careful to keep them in some semblance of order. The folder he had taken them out of was already looking a little worse for wear, and he made a mental note to drop into a store and grab a new one over the following few days. Just as he was placing the details of the catering for the shows’ teams into its rightful place amongst the other papers, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Reaching for it and looking at the screen he saw a number he recognised as belonging to the offices of one of the companies they had considered using for the printing of the programmes and posters. He let out a frustrated sigh before answering. The conversation that ensued kept Scott engaged for a full fifty minutes, and by the end of the call he had created another two pages of notes that needed to be added to the folder. He had not accepted the offer they had made, he wanted to speak with Tessa about it first, he wanted big things that altered the aesthetic of the tour to be joint decisions, plus, hers was the eye that was needed for such things – he thought he knew what looked good...sometimes, but it was a guarantee that Tessa would see and create something he loved more. Adding the notes to the folder and punching a reminder into his phone to email the company to request a full quote, he pushed the folder away from himself and across the table. He knew he had kept Danny waiting, and left him to do all the packing for their trip, and he didn’t want to spend another minute missing out on the precious time with his brother – anything else would just have to wait. 

“I am so sorry” Scott declared as he finally joined Danny in the driveway “I got caught up in another call” 

“Don’t worry” Danny smiled, and although Scott knew he meant it, he still felt a pang of guilt when he saw his brother sitting on the tail of the fully loaded truck waiting for him. 

“Come on, let’s get this show on the road” Scott shouted cheerfully “there are fish to be caught.” 

 

The twenty minute drive to the lake was the first peace that Scott had felt all day. Looking out of the window, listening to Danny humming along to the radio beside him, allowed him to sit back, take a breath and remember that he was meant to be relaxing, and enjoying his time at home. As the lake came into view he felt a weight that he hadn’t realised he’d been carrying, rise from his chest. There was something about the outdoors, the promise of nature’s simplicity and the silence that Scott always found solace in. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he had grown up in the outdoors; as a child, when he wasn’t at the rink, he could be found in the back yard, playing games, kicking a football and just generally enjoying the feel of the soil beneath his feet and the open sky above his head. His mind drifted back to France and the forest he and Tessa had visited during their GMP trip. Of course he had loved the cities, adored Antwerp and reveled in the time they had spent alone and relaxing when they had first arrived, but that afternoon in the forest, he had felt, for the first time in a long time, the freedom of being outdoors and in a world created by the Earth itself, untouched and untainted. A smile crept across his lips as the smell of the flower he had placed in Tessa’s hair floated back to him. She had felt it too, the tranquility, the stillness, and she, too, had been grateful of the opportunity to get into the fresh air. They had been working, of course, and they had socialise with the guests, the people who had paid for some time with them, but they had found a moment that day, in a quiet spot, shaded by trees, to stop and enjoy a moment together. They knew people didn’t understand the connection they had, and he didn’t expect anyone too, they had, had to learn about it too, but more than that, people didn’t understand how it kept them grounded, kept them level and kept them standing tall, breathing fresh air. When they were competing and when they were performing on tour, the connection had a purpose, the desire to be in each other’s space was explicable, the physical contact they craved was needed, natural, part of the process, but alone, in the forest, under no pressure to perform, they were both perhaps a little surprised to find that the need and the desire were both still there. They hadn’t discussed it of course, in order to do that they would have had to stop and think and wonder, and their relationship didn’t include that, they didn’t need answers, even when everyone else seemed to. So, without words, without explanation, without motive and without cause, they had stood beneath the canopy of leaves and embraced each other, held each other and felt their connection pulsing through them and between them. They hadn’t discussed it, not then and not since, but it had felt different, for him at least. 

“Scott, what do you think?” Danny’s voice cut through his thoughts. 

“Sorry,” Scott startled from his daydream “What do I think? I think...I...what do I think about what?” 

“About which side of the lake we should go to” Danny smiled “we can get the boat from the main building, but we need to let them know whether we’re going to want it on the north or the south side of the lake” 

“Oh right” Scott answered, finding his composure “sorry, I was miles away. Erm, well, the north I think, that’s where dad always took us, right?” 

“Yeah,” Danny replied “sounds perfect” 

*** 

They picked a spot at the north end of the lake that they had fished many times as boys. Rods set up, cold beer in hand, they rested back against the boat’s side and drank in the seclusion. 

“I’m glad we’re doing this” Scott remarked, feeling, finally, that they were getting the day they had been waiting for. 

“Me too.” Danny replied “sometimes I feel like getting away, being free, is impossible.” 

Scott hadn’t expected to hear the tone of frustration and tiredness is his brother’s voice. He had always seen his brother as the perfectly happy family man. He clearly adored his wife, his children and the life they had built together. Sometimes, at family BBQs, when his nephews were dressed in shorts, their bare feet pounding the ground as they played, he envied Danny’s domesticity. He saw Danny lounging beside his wife, Tessa, and watching his kids with a love that Scott envied. He watched the way Danny and Tessa shared their parenting so well, the way they were in sync with each other’s thoughts, and he saw a life he wanted one day. 

“Getting away from what?” 

“Life” 

“What is there in your life you could possibly want to get away from?” 

“Not anything in my life, Scott, I have wonderful things in my life. Sometimes I just want it to stop for a moment, so that I can stop, so that I can get off the carousel and sit on a lake with my brother.” 

“Have you taken on too much coaching?” Scott asks, still treating Danny’s situation as a problem to be solved. 

“No, it’s not that, and the house is in good shape now, and the kids are enjoying school. I just... I don’t get to come here often enough, come home I mean, to Canada, to mom, to this, to us. Sometimes I just want time to stand still for a moment so that I can remember what life is all about.” 

 

“Life’s about lots of things, Dan” Scott soothed, “it’s about all the things you mentioned, but sometimes we don’t get the balance right, but that’s not because we don’t want to, it’s because we can’t.” 

“I just don’t feel like ‘can’t’ should be a factor, Scott. I feel like we make our lives into what we want them to be, into what we want to be within them, and I feel like sometimes I need to escape to get perspective.” 

“Well, for now we’re here, we’re getting perspective, and we will both pledge to make sure that we do it more often, make it a priority.” 

“I think we should Scott; our lives are there for us to be the creators” 

“They are” Scott agreed quietly, taking in the meaning of Danny’s words. 

“So, the Thank You Tour, that’s keeping you pretty busy” 

“Yeah” Scott exhaled “in a good way most of the time. There’s just so much to do. We have this grand vision and some days it feels like we’re on the road to realising it, and some days it feels more like a mirage than a vision.” 

“It was always going to be a lot of work Scott, but I know what you are like once you are passionate and committed, you throw yourself all in, that’s where your gold came from – not one skate, not one event, from years of hard work and commitment.” 

“I know.” 

“And retirement? Have you guys made a decision?” 

“Yeah, we had before we competed, really, and I think we are pretty sure now, we just want to give it time to settle, tell our families first, you know. But, it was always going to be the case. The Olympics, the comeback, the journey, it was exactly what we both needed, and what we needed together. The feeling of winning, it’s alluring and it would be so tempting to chase it again, and in many ways, easier than ever because we have found the team and the place and the mind set now, but I think we need to quit whilst we’re ahead and savor the moments we’ve had.” 

“And do new things. There is still so much out there for you.” 

“Exactly, and the tour is the start of that.” 

“I’m really pleased for you, buddy. I know it will be fantastic.” 

“Thanks, Danny.” 

A comfortable silence fell between them as they lay back and felt the boat rock gently beneath them. The rest of the day was filled with easy conversation and fishing. The sun keeping them warm until the mid-evening when they took the boat back to the lake’s main boat house and packed their things into the car. 

“Mom’s cooking tonight” Scott announced as he looked at his watch “I’ll give her a call and let her know that we are on our way back”. He sat in the front seat of the car and retrieved his phone from the glove box. He could see the light on the top flashing red telling him that he had an email – hopefully the quote from the print company. What he had not anticipated when he swiped to unlock his phone was the 15 missed calls, seven emails and three texts that he found looking back at him. He sighed as he looked at the preview of each one – the coach company (yet more questions), the printers (the quote) and six calls from the venue they were planning to use in Abbotsford. He also noticed a voicemail that was waiting for him. He sighed as he thought about having to open and deal with all the messages. He listened to the voice mail whilst Danny was packing the last of their supplies into the truck. 

“Scott, Trevor here from the Abbotsford Centre. I need to discuss your booking for the 5th October. Unfortunately, we’ve had a fire at the rink – a faulty wire in the sound system – and I don’t know if we are going to be ready in time for the show. So sorry to leave this with you in a voice mail. Please get in contact as soon as possible so that we can chat.” 

Scott pressed to end the call and then put his heads in hands. Abbotsford was their first location, and the show was now less than three months away, this was beginning to feel like a disaster. When they had first thought about doing the tour, one balmy night in Canada House, they had been excited by the prospect of doing their own choreographing, staging and merchandise, but they hadn't thought about the huge implications of actually managing the event themselves at this level. People had suggested, and they had, at first, been in agreement with them, that they should use an event planning company. A company that would sort things like accommodation, venues and transportation, but they had wanted to take it on themselves, every last bit of it. This was their baby, and they wanted full control of it. Given the past two days he’d had, he was beginning to think they’d made the wrong decision. They hadn’t even started putting new dances together yet, although he knew that the whole gang were thinking about it and planning numbers to bring to their first group rehearsal at the end of August, he still felt like they weren’t even able to get to what he considered was the most important part of the whole event. 

“Everything ok?” Danny asked as he got into the car. 

“Not really” Scott replied “there’s been a fire at the first tour venue, they don’t know if it’s going to be ready in time for the show” 

“Oh” Danny replied “not good” 

“Not good at all” Scott agreed. 

“What are the options? Can you move it somewhere else?” 

“I'm really not sure. I’ve only just picked up the message, I’ve not even begun to think...” 

“Of course, sorry” 

“No, it’s fine. I just need to figure out what to do.” 

“See what Tess thinks, put your heads together, you’ll work it out.” 

“I didn’t really want to bother Tess with any of this – we decided to take some time with family and I was just keeping an eye on things, I didn’t think anything like this was going to crop up!” 

“Well, this might be something you need to speak to her about, Scott, it can’t really wait, can it?” 

“I guess” 

“I know you want her to relax and take some time out, Scott, but I think this is something that she would want you to share the burden of with her, you guys are a team.” 

“You’re right. I’ll Skype her after dinner.” 

*** 

“Thanks again for dinner, Ma” Scott said as he placed a kiss on his mother’s cheek. 

“You’re welcome, it’s just so good to have my boys here” his mom beamed as she pulled Scott in for a hug. “Now you boys have some fun, I’m headed to bed. See you in the morning.” 

“Night Mom” chorused Danny and Scott as their mom disappeared out of the lounge and up the stairs. 

“Fancy watching the game? I recorded it last night” Danny asks as he spreads out on the sofa and grabs the remote. 

“Sure” Scott replies “I’ll just give Tess a call and then join you.” 

“Cool” 

Scott made his way to his bedroom – his mum had recently decorated it and it felt new and fresh. He grabbed his laptop from his night stand and jumped on to the bed, settling himself against the headboard. Clicking on her profile picture – her favourite red boot Vogue picture – he heard the familiar noise of Skype dialing out. It was a noise that reminded him of long conversations with home. He thinks about how much easier it must be for young athletes to keep in touch with family now, and he thinks about how his and Tessa’s childhood may have been different had they been able to Skype their parents every night from Canton. He thinks also about how different their relationship might have been. Perhaps they would have relied on each other less as children, perhaps they wouldn’t have been as close, perhaps they would have been able to discuss their arguments with other people, get some perspective. But he believed in never examining the past and never regretting a moment because all the moments of their lives had led them to moment they loved the most; embracing each other after winning gold, a moment in time that he will never forget, alone, back stage in a quiet corner, away from everything and everyone, just them for a moment, no need to share, no need to feel watched, it was the moment their lives had been lived for and he wouldn’t take a single minute of life back, even the worst ones, for fear of never having had that one moment together. 

“Hey” her voice jolted him out of his reverie. He looked at the screen and saw her smiling back at him. 

“Hey, T” he replied, her smile infectious “how are you? How’s the cottage?” 

“Great. The weather is great here. Jordan and I have been lying on the beach all afternoon. What about you, how’s home?” 

“It’s great. I went to the lake with Danny today, we went fishing, drank a few beers. It was good to get away.” 

“Yeah, I like the feeling of not having to set an alarm, not having a schedule for the day, it’s refreshing.” 

“It is.” he left a pause as he thought about how to bring up the issues with the tour without worrying her, he needed to make it sound casual, like it was nothing to worry about “I did a few bits of correspondence for the tour this morning” 

“Great, is everything ok? Sorry, we said we weren’t going to do anything until we had finished our family time, I hope it didn’t eat into your time.” 

“No, Tess, it’s fine, it hasn’t been a bother, just a few chats with the coach company and one of the printers, and the venue in Abbotsford.” 

“The venue in Abbotsford? That’s all sorted, what did they want?” 

“There’s been some unexpected events there, they just wanted to touch base, that’s all.” 

“Unexpected events?” 

She was on to him – how did he think he could possible lie to her, she knew him better than he knew himself most of the time, how did he think he was going to get away with underplaying this one? 

“Tess, they’ve had a fire there. I don’t know how bad, I have to call Trevor tomorrow, but he left a message to say that he wasn’t sure if everything would be sorted by October” 

“Scott, Abbotsford is the first stop, it’s less than three months away” 

“I know, and it may still be ok” 

“What if it’s not?” 

“Then we will try to sort something out, Tess. We will make it work” 

“And what did the coach company want?” 

Oh, she had him on the ropes now. 

“The bus we wanted is no longer available, but it’s fine, there are alternatives, it might just mean some compromises” 

“Compromises? Like what?” 

“A number of things, Tess, storage for the costumes, the possibility of a trailer” 

He saw her bow her head and rub her eyebrows. She didn’t get stressed very easily, and she had always coped really well with pressure, but she also liked to be in control, and he knew that all of these unknowns and changes were making her feel like her control on the tour was slipping. 

“Tess, we will work it out, ok, whatever we need to do to make it work, we will do it. We knew this wasn’t going to be easy, this is just a challenge” he tried to reassure her. 

“But, Scott, there are so many things to do, and you are doing it by yourself, I feel like I have abandoned you. When we agreed that you would keep an eye on things we thought it would be fielding a few emails, a call here and there, not rearranging one of the venues and the transportation! You don’t have to do this on your own. I’ll call Trevor in the morning, talk to him about the rink, find out what the likelihood of it being ready is, and then start looking at alternatives” she was speaking quickly now, he could hear her mentally making a to do list. 

“T, it’s fine, you are spending time with Jordan, please, I can handle this.” 

“Scott, we’re a team, you don’t have to do this on your own. We need to work together on it. I will drive over to you tomorrow, we can work through this.” 

“No, Tess, you have been looking forward to your time at the cottage for months, you don’t need to come here, I can call you, we can communicate about it.” 

“It’s not the same Scott, and it’s not effective, you know what signal is like here sometimes. If I leave in the next couple of hours, I could be with you by breakfast.” 

“Tess, stop, you are not leaving the cottage, and you are certainly not driving through the night! Look, I will come to you, I have been out with Danny today and he has to fly back to Denmark tomorrow evening, so we don’t have much planned for tomorrow anyway.” 

“But Scott, your mom...” 

“I have had a lovely dinner with my mom tonight, spent some time with her, and you know she understands Tess” 

Silence. 

“Tess, I am driving over tomorrow, ok?” 

“Ok. Thanks, Scott” 

“It will be nice to see Jordan and Kate, I haven’t seen them for ages, and you know how much I love the cottage.” 

This prompted the return of the smile that had dulled. 

“Plus, if we get this sorted, you can give me the chance to beat you at golf” 

This made the smile wider, and her green eyes shone “beat me? In your dreams.” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Tess, I’ll leave first thing.” 

“See you tomorrow, Scott” 

With that the call was ended and her face disappeared from the screen of his laptop. He closed his laptop and set about packing his bags ready for his morning ride.


	2. Summer Softens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this one.

The aroma of fresh coffee filled the car as Scott drove towards the cottage. He had been on the road for a few hours, having started out in the light of the early summer morning. It had been a while since he had been on a road trip, and a lot longer since he had been on a road trip alone. He and Tess had driven to many events and practices over the years and some of their best memories had been made as the dew was rising off the fields they drove past. Their car karaoke duets kept them going on long trips and he loved that it was a part of her that no one else got to see. She wouldn’t sing with wild abandon in front of anyone else, but with him, in the safety of the car, she had given her all to their performances. They had also had some of their most important conversations during those early drives, on the way to the rink as teenagers. She’d opened up about her dad, told him things she’d barely admitted to herself, feelings that were buried over once they left the car, but that were now shared feelings and formed part of the foundations they had cemented over two decades. He didn’t mind travelling alone – he was at a point in his life now where he was comfortable enough with himself to be alone. He didn’t play music over his thoughts or chase them away, he had grown so much, he knew that about himself, and spending time on his own was something that he didn’t run from. 

He eventually arrived at the winding lane that lead down to the Virtues’ cottage. He had always loved this place, it was a piece of tranquility, a place where he knew Tessa was more herself and more free than anywhere else in the world. He had spent long summer days here with the family when he was younger, playing in the lake, lying on the shore, basking in the seclusion. He had visited less often as an adult; it had become Tessa’s escape, somewhere she could forget the outside world and just enjoy the silence. She had never stopped him from joining her, he had an open invitation, but he felt her need for time and space and he wanted her to have somewhere and some time that was hers. So, it had been a few years since he had driven down the tree covered gravel drive that led to the cottage’s entrance. 

Exiting the car, he stretched his aching back straight and put his arms above his head. The drive had left him feeling a little folded. His ears were instantly attracted to the soft laughter that flowed from the back of the building. He followed it around the back and into a small lawned area. The three women were sitting around a wrought iron table, white coffee cups in front of them and a pile of sliced fruit in the centre of the table. They were smiling and laughing with a freedom that felt easy and yet intimate at the same time. Kate was leaning back against the cushion on her chair, her light dressing gown wrapped lightly around her shoulders and falling in soft lines towards the grass. Jordan, grapes in hand, was in the middle of her sister and mother, her hands wrapped around a coffee cup and her expression one that told him she was sharing what was likely an exciting piece of gossip. He noticed that she too was still in her sleep attire – the pink material of her camisole lying on her legs and her painted toe nails perched on the grass beneath her chair as the excitement of the story she was telling pushed her closer to her listeners. On the far side of the table, opposite Kate, Tessa was sat back, legs outstretched listening to Jordan’s tale and smiling. The royal blue straps of her vest top hugged the strong muscles around her collar bone, accentuating her strength. 

She sensed his presence before she saw him, her head turning the moment before he emerged from the side of the cottage and became visible. Her body moved with unconscious movement as she left the table and walked to greet him, snaking her arm around his waist and placing a kiss on the side of his cheek. 

“We didn’t expect you so early” she smiled, leading him towards the table, her arm still firmly attached to his hip. Jordan and Kate sat up, straightening themselves, clearly they had not expected Scott to appear during the middle of their pajama breakfast either! 

“Sorry, I’m interrupting, I should have called” Scott’s cheeks pinked with embarrassment as Tessa pulled him closer to the table, her own semi-exposure not even registering – Scott had seen her in a lot less, of course, and sitting with him in her pajamas was something she’d done during countless trips over the years. 

“No, not at all, Scott” Kate beamed as she stood up, checked the belt on her robe and put her arms around him, detaching him from her daughter, “we are so pleased to see you. It’s been an age since you came to the cottage” 

“It has” Scott smiled, returning Kate’s embrace. 

“Yeah, some stuff has probably changed” Jordan commented as she stood up to welcome him “but the feeling’s still the same, still relaxing” 

“Can’t imagine it being any other way” Scott replied as he hugged Jordan, aware of the placement of his hands and being careful to ensure that he did not make her feel uncomfortable. 

“Sit down” Tessa smiled as she pulled out an empty chair for him and started pouring coffee into a cup. He smiled and took her offer of the chair. As he lowered himself into it he felt her hand graze his back as it came to rest against the cold iron of the chair, she pushed him forward inserting a cushion behind him. He felt warmth and comfort from her that was so natural. He caught her hand as she moved it away from the cushion she had deposited and ran a quick, almost automatic, circle around her wrist with his thumb. He felt the reconnection immediately as they used their own, silent language with each other. A quick touch that said thank you, a look that showed support – they had developed their own silent communication over the years and it allowed them to be alone in a crowded room, inside each other whenever they needed the seclusion. On the ice, during competitions, it had allowed them to find calm in a storm. Now, in the cottage’s garden, on a summer morning, it allowed them to say thank you and establish a connection that no one else was a part of. Not that, that was the aim – to separate themselves- not now, not in their lives with their families, but well-trained habits died hard. The investment they had made in their relationship, the work they had done on their partnership had been the foundation of their professional success, but that didn’t mean that once they stopped skating it would disappear or it would become obsolete. There was never a chance of that because in the growth they had experienced in the years leading up to the gold, their relationship, their love and their trust had become an integral part of the threads of the fabric of who they were – together, and alone. That they would step back from that, out of that, once they were away from competition was something over which they had barely any control. 

“How’s your mom, Scott?” Kate asked as she placed a plate of fruit in front of him and he settled in. 

“She’s good” he answered “treating me and Danny like little kids again” 

“Which you don’t stop her from doing” Tessa smiled at him. 

“She likes it” Scott smiled back at her, matching her grin with his own. Tess raised her eyebrows at him, knowing how, at heart, he was such a mommy’s boy, never more happy and more comfortable than in his mother’s kitchen being treated like a prince. His smiled widened in return to her eyebrows and the moment stood there between them. 

“And Danny?” Jordan enquired 

“Danny’s good” Scott smiled “his teams are doing well and the kids are settled into their schools well” 

“Great” Jordan replied as she drained the last of the coffee from her cup. “I’m going to shower and dress” she announced as she stood up from the table. “You guys have work to do, right?” 

“We have some things we need to go over” Scott signed as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

“I need to pop into town and then said I’d meet with a friend, so shall we meet for dinner this eveving? We can take a picnic to the beach” Jordan suggested. 

“Sounds perfect” Scott replied looking at Tessa to seek her thoughts. 

“It does” she replied, “hopefully we can get the issues with the tour sorted today” 

“Ready for 6:30, then?” Jordan asked as she pushed her chair in and gathered the used plates and cups. 

“Sounds fine” Scott smiled at her. 

“Mom, what do you have planned for the day?” Tessa asked as Jordan headed back to the house. 

“Well, I’m part way through a book I’ve been looking forward to reading for months, and it is every bit as good as I had anticipated, so I thought I might head down to the lake and read.” 

“I am sorry to change your plans” Scott chimed in “you probably had something planned for today, eh?” 

“No, not at all, Scott,” Kate smiled, “we don’t plan here, it’s one of the best things about the cottage – take it as it comes.” 

Scott smiled at the way all of the Virtue women always went out of their way to make him feel secure and happy. He could see why Tessa was such a kind and warm person. He thought about the way Kate had brought her daughters up to be positive and kind and he hoped that when he became a parent he could do the same. 

“Well, it will be nice to eat together this evening” Scott smiled “I’ll look forward to it.” 

“Me too,” Kate replied “I’ll see you kids later – don't work too hard” she said the last sentence whilst wagging a finger at them and smiling, she knew asking Tessa and Scott to be anything other then ‘all in’ was a useless task. 

“More coffee?” Tessa asked him as she picked up the cafetiere off the table. 

“I’m good” he smiled at her “I won’t sleep for a week with the amount of caffeine I’ve had today, and it’s not even lunch time” 

“So, where should we start with the tour? I suppose the first thing is to get in contact with Trevor and get full information about the state of the rink?” 

“I think that’s the most important thing, yes.” 

“Ok, well, let’s head in, my phone and laptop are in my room, you grab them and I will get a quick shower.” 

They headed into the house and up towards Tessa’s room. Scott found her laptop bag on the floor at the end of the bed and reached down to retrieve the laptop from it. He was pulling it out of the bag when Tessa came in to grab her towel. 

“Won’t be a sec” she said heading into the en-suite bathroom. 

“I’ll be in the lounge” Scott replied as the door shut. He grabbed the laptop and Tessa’s phone from her bedside table and headed out of the bedroom and towards the cottage’s lounge. Sitting down on the sofa he opened the laptop’s lid and pressed the power button. Nothing. He held the button down on the second attempt – he was never a hundred percent sure how her laptop worked, but he usually got there. Nothing. He checked he was pressing the correct button, yes, it was clear he was. Realising that the battery must be dead he headed back to Tessa’s room and towards the laptop bag. Just as he leant down to get the bag the door of the bathroom opened and Tessa emerged, hair falling in wet tendrils around her shoulders and a white towel wrapped around her body. 

“Sorry, Tess” Scott said getting up from his position crouched over the bag and looking a little embarrassed. 

“Sorry for what?” Tessa asked, genuinely confused. 

“I just came back in to look for your charger, the laptop, the battery is...” there was a slight sound of shyness in his voice that she didn’t pick up on. 

“Oh, it’s not in the bag,” she replied moving across the room, passing him and going to the head end of her bed. Leaning down she stretched her arm behind the bed to wrestle with the plug. Scott found himself averting his eyes as her towel rode up exposing her thighs. 

“Here” she said emerging from the floor and placing the charger in his hand “the battery barely holds its charge anymore” she said casually as she headed towards her wardrobe and pulled out a light blouse and pair of jeans “I need to get a new one, but that one is just so comfortable now, I don’t want to start again” 

“OK, thanks, I’ll get the laptop powered up” Scott said as he took the charger and headed towards the door. As he slipped out he was vaguely aware of the sound her towel made as it hit the carpeted floor. 

Back in the lounge he became aware of the change in temperature as the cool air tickled his neck. He wiped the back of his neck with his hand and hoped he’d packed a few vest tops in his luggage – it was hotter here than in Ilderton. 

After a few minutes Tessa joined him on the sofa, curling her legs beside him and looking over at the laptop. 

“Ok, let’s call Trevor” she said as she got her phone out and placed it on the table in front of them. Her voice was a lot lighter than Scott had expected given her initial reaction to the news of the fire. He knew that after their conversation last night she had gone into her room, or out to the lake, and breathed deeply, thought about the perspective she needed to get through the issue, and calmed her mind. It was something that they had used so many times during the comeback and he could see how powerful it was for her now. She liked to be in control, he knew that, she knew that, but sometimes to get the control she needed she had to think about the things she could influence and the things she could change. He knows that she will have thought about their latest challenge as something to overcome and something to win against. He admired the strength he had seen her gain in the past few years, she truly was remarkable, his best friend and the person he was so grateful to have spent the best part of his life with – she made him a better person, he had realised that a long time ago. 

“Tessa” Trevor’s voice played through the speaker on her phone “it’s good to be in contact with you, I left Scott a message yesterday” 

“Scott’s here too” Tessa replied 

“Ah, great, hi, Scott. Sorry to leave that message on your phone – I would have preferred to speak in person, of course, but I thought you’d want know as soon as possible.” 

“No problem Trevor, I had left my phone in the car, sorry to have missed your call.” 

“That’s ok, Scott” Trevor assured him “so, you guys want to know about the full picture here at the moment. We had a fire in the rink the day before yesterday. The fire brigade were able to get here quickly and they had it under control quickly, but there is damage that is going take some time to fix. One section of the seating needs completely replacing, we need to have the whole rink re-wired and there is quite a lot of work to do in the backstage area and at the bottom end of the rink where the fire started. It is going to take some time to put right.” 

“Longer than three months?” Scott asked. 

“Possibly” came Trevor’s reply “I really want it to be ready for you, and I am going to call in every favour and push every deadline to get it ready, but I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that it would only take a slower supplier or a storm to knock the work off schedule.” 

Tessa audibly inhaled. She would have almost felt better if Trevor had just told them that there was no chance of the work being completed in time, at least that way she would have a decision to work on, with this the unknowns made her feel frustrated. It wouldn’t be easy to find another venue at such short notice, and the tickets had already been sold. 

“With our current estimated schedule, if all goes to plan, the work would be complete three days before the show” Trevor’s voice came from the table. 

Tessa remained silent. 

“Trevor, thanks for being so honest and up-front with us about this” Scott took over the situation “we need to chat, of course, and then we will give you a call back later.” 

“Of course, Scott” Trevor responded, his voice filled with understanding at their situation “I am so sorry about this guys” 

“Trevor, it’s happened, it’s not what we had planned, but we will work it out” Scott replied, trying to make the man on the other end feel less guilty about the situation. “We’ll be back in touch later today.” 

“Sure, Scott, speak to you later” Trevor responded, his voice lighter this time, before ending the call. 

Scott ended the call on their end, put the phone back on the table and turned to Tessa, who was now looking troubled and had her head slightly bowed. 

“Hey,” Scott said softly as he moved closer to her on the sofa, closing the space between them. He traced his hands down her arms and held her hands “It’s going to be ok, we can work it out” 

“I believe you, Scott” she responded quietly, “I just...maybe we should have let a company handle the arrangements, I...” 

“Maybe we should have done” Scott responded as he pulled her closer to him. He pulled his own legs onto the sofa and shuffled back to sit against the arm rest, he pulled her towards him and nestled her between his legs. “but we haven’t. We chose to do this ourselves and we can still do it. It was never going to be easy, it was always going to throw challenges at us, but we’ve overcome worse challenges than this.” 

“Challenges to do with skating, Scott, the thing we know most about, not challenges like this” she heard his words and believed them, but she was feeling out of her depth and didn’t like it. 

“Our challenges haven’t just been skating related, Tess. Okay, maybe we haven’t faced the challenges of organising a tour before, but we’ve had challenges in our partnership, with our families, with ourselves, with our coaches, we have learnt so much from all of those and we can apply what we have learnt to what we are facing right now.” he pulled her on to his lap and put his arms around her. “we can do this” it said into her ear “we can do anything” 

She settled then into his arms, meeting him eye to eye “thank you for coming over” 

“Any time” he replied “we’re the dream team, right?” 

“Right” she smiled at him and he leant in and kissed her forehead gently. 

“Now, let’s look at some alternative venues, just in case” he lightened the mood and she slipped off his lap and set beside him, their knees touching as he pulled the laptop back onto his lap and opened up Google maps. 

The only spaces they could find were a hall and an arena, neither of which had an ice rink. 

“We did that show in Korea once where they had a temporary rink installed, remember? Maybe we could find something like that?” Tessa suggested. 

Scott punched a search into Google. It seemed that having a temporary rink was a possibility, but wouldn’t be cheap or easy. 

“It’s an option, though” Scott thought aloud “it depends if we want to risk Trevor getting the work done on time.” 

“The temporary rink won’t be the same” Tess added “and neither of the alternative venues will house the number of tickets we’ve already sold.” 

“Then, we put our faith in Trevor” Scott said simply. 

“It’s not a matter of faith, Scott, it’s logistics! If they hit a problem and the schedule gets disrupted, it won’t be ready on time” 

“Well, what about we stick to the original plan and ask Trevor to keep us updated. Then, if it is looking like it might fall behind, we can pay for extra people to work at it. It would have to fall a lot behind for the additional help to cost more than getting a temporary ice rink erected.” 

She considered what he’d said quietly. Scott could hear the cogs turning in her mind as she ran through the possible scenarios that lay ahead of them. 

“Ok” she said finally “that sounds like a good idea.” 

“Great” Scott smiled. He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him before planting a kiss on the side of her head “why don’t you go fix us a cold drink and I will call Trevor back and tell him our decision.” 

Before leaving to prepare their drinks, she leant in and kissed him on the cheek “dream team” she smiled. 

The call to Trevor was shorter than expected. He thought the plan worked well and promised to update Scott and Tessa on a daily basis. He even had to cut the call short to go and let in the building contractor who has already turned up to inspect the site and set the wheels in motion for the work that would start the following day. By the time Tessa returned with two cold glasses of lemonade Scott was already wishing Trevor well and hanging up the phone. 

“What did he say?” she asked as she handed Scott his glass. 

“He said he’d keep us updated on a daily basis” Scott replied before taking a sip of the lemonade. “Mmm, this is good” he smiled “a success in the kitchen” 

“My mom left it in the refrigerator” she confessed, smiling at his teasing. 

“Well, well served” he smiled as he moved his glass to make contact with hers “cheers” 

“Cheers” she joined with a smile before taking a sip from her own glass. “So, what else do we need to look at? The bus?” 

“Well, we need to decide whether the compromises that this company are offering us are preferable to starting again with a new company” Scott explained. “Let me open the email and find the conversation I had with the guy dealing with our booking, and you can get yourself caught up.” 

Three hours passed them by as they made calls, responded to emails and looked at bus brochures until their eyes bled. 

“Well, if ever want to buy ourselves a bus, T, we’re all clued up now.” Scott joked as he lay back on the sofa. 

She smiled at him tiredly, loving the way that he always seemed to find the energy for humour. It had been one of the many things that she had learnt from him over the years – to always make the time and space to be positive and to find the fun in things. Her seriousness is just a part of who she is, and also a part of what makes her so dedicated and so successful. But sometimes it could get the better of her and turn into frustration and worry. A different frustration to the one that Scott used to carry in their earlier years; hers wasn’t born of anger, it was born of disappointment in herself. When she took longer than she’d like to learn a turn or a lift, when she struggled to finish a workout or set of reps at the gym, she would internalise the frustration she had at herself for not being good enough. Scott showed her how to always find the fun, always find a moment of perspective and she was grateful for that gift that he gave her, it made her a better athlete, and a better person. 

“I can imagine you doing the school run in a bus,” she giggled “a whole hockey team rolling out the back carrying school books and packed lunches” 

“A whole hockey team?” he smiled “I’d best get working on that, I’ll need to find a woman willing to spend enough time with me to produce six kids.” 

A silence fell between them. Relationships were a subject that they had rarely discussed during their comeback – they had both, separately, decided that any other connection would be a distraction from the thing they were invested in most – their skating. There hadn’t been the time and they hadn’t looked to make it, they had thrown themselves head first into the comeback and wanted to be there fully for each other. Now that the Olympics were over, it was an avenue that they knew they could explore, but with the shows and the travelling directly after the Olympics there had been no time to meet anyone. Plus, if they were honest, neither of them were really actively looking for someone else, they felt happy to let things unfold naturally, but there was no denying that romance and new relationships were now ok to be ‘on the cards’ and on their agendas. 

“We still have a bit of time before dinner” Tessa announced as she looked at her watch “do you fancy coming out the lake, doing some paddle boarding?” 

“Sure, sounds good, you know me, I love to get outside.” he smiled 

“Scott, we are not making paddle boarding into a competition” Tessa retorted, knowing exactly what he was thinking. 

“Why? Because I will beat you?” his eyes shot her a cheeky look. 

“No, because I wouldn’t like to see you pouting when you lose” she smiled back, matching him, look for look. 

“Bring it on, Virtch” she yelled as he grabbed her by the knees and sent her flying onto the couch on her back. Hearing her squeal, he jumped on top of her and started to tickle her, imploring her to show him what she was made of on the water. She giggled uncontrollably as his hands moved across her stomach, tickling the exact spot that he knew made her most vulnerable. She begged him to stop between bouts of laughter, but he continued, smiling down at her as he made her jump and squirm. 

“Take the comment about the pouting back” he ordered. 

“Never” she cried. He tickled her harder. 

“Take it back, T” 

“Your pout is cute” she replied, laughing. 

“Not falling for it, take it back” he continued, moving his hands from her stomach to her armpits. 

“Ok, ok, I take it back” she squealed, unable to withstand any more of his attack. He stopped immediately at her words. He lay above her, panting, his hair flopping forward and tickling her forehead. Beneath him she was also panting, her giggles still bubbling in her chest. And then the moment changed, a stillness fell and the air around them became thick. Scott looked down at her, her eyes shining, a blush in her cheeks. She looked back at him, the hazel in his eyes deepening as she stared into it. It was as if there was a current running through the air around them, a force that was pinning them to the moment they were living and feeding an atmosphere they were unaware of having created. For a moment, a brief, brief moment Scott’s eyes fell to her lips as the electricity between them sparked. He lurched backwards, as if he had been stung, putting space between them. 

“I’ll grab my swimming things” he mumbled stumbling from the couch and towards his room. 

“Yes, great, me too” Tessa managed as she sat bolt upright on the sofa and straightened her shirt, that had ridden up above her belly button.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has made comments and said that they are excited - it really does make a difference. You are all very kind.


	3. Lake of Solitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have deliberately kept this one short because I want it to be an intense but fleeting moment.

The lake sprawled out ahead of them, its azure beauty calling them towards it. The two paddle boards were already lying on the shore where Tess and Jordan had left them the day before. 

“I haven’t done this in a while” Scott remarked as they picked up the boards. 

“Don’t start with the excuses, Moir” Tessa smiled at him. 

Tessa’s eyes traced a path down Scott’s bare torso. Despite being the naturally more outgoing of the pair, she felt that he had never really had the body confidence that he should. He worked so hard to get into shape for the comeback and his sculpted abs were a testament to that. She liked his strong shoulders and the strong v shape at the base of his torso. She smiled as she remembered Kaitlyn pointing out Scott’s ‘love lines’ in the topless football photos from Japan – that girl really did have a way with words. 

“Something funny, Virtch?” 

She felt a blush rise in her cheeks – once again Kaitlyn had gotten her into trouble, and she wasn’t even there this time. 

“Only the thought of you out paddling me” she responded quickly, covering her tracks. 

They dragged the boards over to lake and walked into the cool water. The temperature was a shock at first, an icy cool attacking their ankles, but they soon acclimatised to it and hopped up onto their boards and gently paddled out onto the lake. They paddled along in companionable silence. One of the things that Tessa loved about spending time with Scott was the fact that didn’t feel the need to fill every silent moment. They both knew when being side by side and existing in a moment was all that was needed. They had spent hours on flights, on car rides, on walks through crowded towns, just being and existing next to each other. The sun beat down on them as they broke the surface of the shimmering water with their paddles, letting the sound of the water lapping against the boards soothe them. The shore soon seemed nothing more than a spec on the horizon and the world truly did cease to exist, the expanse of water the only thing surrounding their minds. 

“This really is escaping” Scott said with a contented sigh. 

“Isn’t it” Tessa replied, the peace in her voice accompanied by closed eyes. 

They paddled in silence for a few more minutes. 

“Right, ready to show what you’ve got?” Scott’s voice was filled with excitement. 

“Race you to the middle of the lake?” Tessa suggested. 

“You’re on” Scott replied, fight in his voice “come here next to me so that we start at the same space” he said as he called her closer to him. 

She paddled over to him. 

“Ready?” Scott looked her straight in the eyes. 

“Ready” she replied. 

“Go” 

They both paddled off furiously, splashing water in their wake. They started neck and neck, both setting a rhythm quickly. A look of determination appeared on both faces – once a competitor always a competitor. They matched each other stroke for stroke for a considerable while. With the middle of the lake in sight, Tessa picked up the pace and started to pull away from him. Seeing her advance, Scott attempted to match her. However, her recent practice on the board put him at a disadvantage and she started to edge away from him, the back of her board pulling up alongside the front of his. He dug deeper, tried to catch her up, but in trying to increase his pace his rhythm faltered and the extra effort was lost to the water and the waves he was making. She pulled further away, the back tip of her board now meeting the front of his, the finish line in sight. Her arms flew above her head as she claimed the win, a whoop sent to the heavens. A smile on his face at the sound her so free and unfettered, Scott extended his paddle and pushed the back of her board to one side, sending her rolling into the lake. As she went down she pulled the front of his board and tipped him into the water behind her. 

“You cheat” she yelped as they splashed about in the water, giggling and screaming. 

“Me?” he yelled back as he grabbed her hips and pulled her under the water. She fought against him, splashing and squirming her hips against his grip. She found his bent legs and stood on his thighs and pushed him under and below her. 

“Winner” she yelled as he disappeared beneath the clear water. He dived down into the water and swam between her flailing legs and put her on his shoulders before throwing her backwards into the water in front of him. She giggled and yelled as she fell backwards and splashed. He swam to meet her as she bobbed back to the top. Going in for the final kill he drew near her and wound his legs around her hips, trapping her against his body, leaving only their heads and shoulders above the water. Panting and giggling she flung her arms around his shoulders, holding onto him and causing their bodies to press against each other. 

“Got you” he whispered in victory. 

“I surrender” she whispered back. 

They clung together, getting their breath back, waiting for their heartbeats to return to normal. They floated there together for a moment before Scott bent his head and placed a kiss on her neck. It was the same kiss as he had planted on her neck for years, the same lips, the same spot. The moment for him to pull away came, and then it went, and his lips remained in place. Neither of them moved, bodies touching, chests rising and falling against each other. They had been in this situation a million times at the end of skates, holding each other, catching their breath, feeling closer than any two bodies could. But this, this was a new moment, holding each other in the water, his lips staying for longer than they should, longer than they ever had. Their heartbeats not slowing, but picking up the pace. Their breathing not calming, but deepening. Neither knew what to do, but neither pulled away. Scott’s lips slowly moved from her shoulder, tracing a delicate and shaky trail to the base of her neck. She inhaled, he was on new territory and all she knew was that it felt electric. His lips found the base of her neck and opened slowly to suck softly on her bare skin. She felt her breath hitch. For an infinitesimal moment the world stood still. This time it was her that pushed away. 

“We need to get back for dinner” she stuttered as she swam back towards her board. 

They both felt the absence of the other immediately. 

“We do” Scott replied as his shaking hands grabbed for his board. 

“Race you!” she half shouted as she started paddling furiously back towards the shore, stars clouding her vision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up - picnic and a flickering fire, anyone?
> 
> Thank you for all of the lovely comments, I am glad that people are enjoying this. I am enjoying writing it.


	4. Summer Stars

“There are fresh towels in the basket under the sink” Tessa advises Scott as he heads to the main bathroom to shower off the lake. 

Securely hidden behind the locked door of her en-suite bathroom, Tessa’s mind wanders back to the lake and the feeling of Scott’s soft lips on the neck. She shakes the thought quickly, there was nothing in it, she told herself. He had kissed her a million times, it was his way of being close to her, of telling her he was there. In that moment he had wanted her to know that their fight in the water had been play, that winning alone didn’t matter to him. But he had lingered longer than was usual, hadn’t he? They’d been exhausted, resting, he was catching his breath. She chastised her embarrassed self for even entertaining her thoughts and jumped into the heat of the shower, lathering shampoo into her hair. 

In the main bathroom, it wasn’t Scott’s mind he was fighting against, but his body. The shower’s water ran down his half erection and dripped into the shower tray with a soft splash. He cursed his hormones. In the shower at Tessa’s cottage was not the place to relieve himself. He knew where it had come from, as he felt the pressure of the Tessa’s hips on the inside of his thighs. He knew there was nothing in it other than his body responding to the physical touch it hadn’t felt for longest while. He chuckled as he remembered being in the same situation far too many times when he was a teenager. Thankfully he usually had more control on the ice these days, focussing his energies on the stories they were telling and relying on his professional experience and state of mind. He set to washing his hair, ignoring the stirring in his groin and the thoughts he was clearly burying deep in his mind. 

Scott was already in the lounge when Tessa emerged. Before she had the chance to join him on the sofa, the front door was opened and Jordan and Kate appeared laden with bags containing bottles and food. 

Both Tessa and Scott moved towards them to help. 

“Mom met me and in town and we picked up supplies for the picnic dinner” Jordan explained as Scott relieved her of a bag filled with several bottles of wine. 

They carried the bags into the kitchen and started to unpack them onto the kitchen counter. Tessa grabbed one of the bottles of red wine and went to get the corkscrew from the kitchen draw. 

“Like the prioritising” Jordan smiled at her. 

Tessa lifted four large glasses down from the cabinet above the stove and set them down on the counter. She uncorked the wine and emptied the bottle into the four glasses. Jordan joined her at the breakfast bar as Scott and Kate took over in the kitchen, arranging ingredients, setting out plates and looking like they had been cooking together for a life time. 

“Tough afternoon, Tess?” Jordan smiled as she nodded towards the glasses of wine. 

“No” Tessa answered quickly, sounding defensive. 

“Ok...” Jordan responded crinkling her eyebrows “just thought maybe the tour planning left you needing to relax.” 

“Yes, sorry” Tessa recovered “it was stressful, but it’s sorted now.” she took a large swig of wine. 

“Glad to hear it” Jordan responded, not attempting to cover the confusion in her voice that told her sister that she wasn’t buying her response, but not going to push her any further. 

“So, what’s on the menu?” Tessa asked, changing the subject, and everyone’s focus. 

“Well, Scott and I are going to rustle up a few pasta dishes, a salad, some olives and cheese, and you two are going to be our dessert assistants” Kate replied as he placed a punnet of strawberries, a tub of double cream, a dish, a knife and a balloon whisk in front of her daughters. 

“How shall I cut these?” Jordan asked, getting to grips with her job straight away as she pulled the plastic wrap off the punnet of strawberries and picked up the knife. 

“Slices” Kate replied, we’re going to have them with scones and cream. 

“Tess, you whip the cream” Scott instructed. 

She looked at the implements and ingredients in front of her, whip the cream, she could manage that. She pulled the lid off the tub of cream and grabbed the balloon whisk. Realising instantly that whipping the cream in its pot wasn’t going to be an option, she grabbed the bowl and poured it in. Scott smiled as he grabbed his glass of wine and headed to the counter to start chopping tomatoes for the salad. He knew she felt out of her depth, but bless her, he knew she would try to apply herself to anything. 

Tess put the cream into the bowl and started stirring it with the whisk, making large circles in the bowl. She had a look of concentration on her face that Scott knew meant she was dedicated to her task. 

“Tess, you need to whisk it” Jordan told her “not stir it” 

“I am” Tess replied, slightly changing her technique, but only to making smaller circles in the bowl. 

“Use your wrist” Kate advised her daughter sweetly. 

Tessa looked down at her hand, her wrist? She kept the same circles going but started to rotate her wrist as she moved around the bowl. Jordan let out a snicker as she watched her sister’s ‘whisking’. Tess looked a bit downhearted as she heard it – she didn’t like getting things wrong. 

“Come here” Scott soothed as he left his place at the kitchen counter, rounded the island and stood behind her. He put his arms through hers and took her hands. “Hold the bowl here” he directed her hand, his on top of hers, “and grab the whisk like this” his other hand directed her hand to the whisk and wrapped itself around the handle, her hand fitting perfectly beneath his. “Now, it’s this action, loosen your wrist” he informed her as he guided her hand to the bowl and started the correct whisking motion, flicking their wrists in a steady rhythm. She allowed him to direct her, feeling comfortable under his tutelage. Once he was confident that she had the rhythm he first retracted the hand helping her to hold the bowl, and then slowly withdrew his other hand that was helping her to move the whisk. In his absence the stroke of the whisk became a little erratic, but he soothed her with calming words “that’s it, gently, good” he murmured with his chin rested on her shoulder. 

“Perfect” he remarked once he was sure she had it under control. He placed a kiss behind her ear before leaving her and returning to his chopping. 

“Did you guys have a chance to get out on the lake today?” Jordan enquired. 

“We took the paddle boards out” Scott replied, knowing that Tessa was now fully immersed in being a champion cream whipper. 

“They’re fun, aren’t they?” Jordan smiled “let me guess, Tessa challenged you to a race” 

“She did” Scott smiled “but I beat her” 

Tessa managed a small cough at his comment. 

“Ok there, T?” Scott smiled at her. 

“I think you’ll find I won” she said, taking her eyes off the cream for the first time since he had left her. 

“Odd” he remarked “because I am sure I heard the word surrender” 

A shiver shot through her body as his words left his mouth. He was mentioning that, here, in front of her mother and sister? She chastised herself silently – of course he mentioned it, why wouldn’t he? They had just been fooling about in the lake, there was nothing more to it than that, even though the feel of his breath tickling her ear as he’d whispered into it with his legs locked around her waist made her breath stutter in her chest. 

“I was being nice” she managed, quickly returning her eyes to the cream in the bowl. 

“Ok, these strawberries are done” Jordan announced, placing the knife down and taking a swig of wine as a reward. 

“Is this done?” Tessa asked, tilting the bowl of thick cream forward. 

“Perfect” Scott replied looking into the bowl “Put it in the fridge until we go out” 

Scott and Kate prepared the rest of the food, tasking Tessa and Jordan with chopping, packing up Tupperware boxes and acting as taste testers. 

“I’ll grab the blankets” Kate called as Tessa, Scott and Jordan headed to the front door. 

“Shall I grab some logs for a fire?” Scott asked as they stood waiting for Kate. 

“Good idea” Tessa replied as Scott headed to the winter log store at the side of the house and put some logs into his hands. The veins in his forearms bulged as he took the weight on his forearms. 

Laden with all the supplies they needed, the four headed down to the lake and the private bay that came with the cottage’s grounds. The bay was perfect, a crescent shaped strip of sand that was flanked on both sides by a tangle of rose bushes and fuschias. Kate spread out the blankets as Scott dug a shallow hole in the sand and started to build the logs up for the fire. He didn’t light it; the weather was still warm enough to keep them comfortable as they ate. 

“So, did you sort out the venue?” Kate asked as they all feasted on the wonderful food that had been prepared. 

“We’re hoping it will be ready” Scott replied between mouthfuls of pasta salad “we’re going to keep an eye on what’s going on” 

“I’m sure it will be fine” Kate assured them, “and if not, I know you two will sort something out” 

“We will” Tessa replied as she sipped her wine. Scott smiled at her as the words left her mouth. It was good to hear her so positive about it. She smiled back, letting him know that he had assured her earlier in the day and that she had faith in their decision and their work together. 

“Another glass?” Jordan asked as she motioned the bottle of wine towards Scott’s empty glass. 

“Sure, thanks” Scott replied as he held his glass towards the bottle. He could feel a warm glow creeping through his chest and wanted to add to it, not let it fade away. He felt happier than he had in a long time, sitting there under the summer sun with Tessa and her family. They always made him so welcome, put him at ease. He felt a part of them and their lives, and he liked it. 

“Tess?” Jordan asked as she put the wine bottle to the edge of her sister’s empty glass. 

“Mmm” Tess replied absently as she tucked into a plate of olives. 

“What are your plans for the rest of the summer, Jordan?” Scott enquired. 

“I’m sticking around here for a few weeks” Jordan replied “I’ve got quite a bit of holiday stacked up, so I thought I’d just take a break. I can always communicate with clients from here if need be” 

“Sounds good” Scott smiled “there is no better place to relax than out here” 

“True” Jordan replied. 

For the following three hours they talked about everything and nothing. About the past, about the future, about the world that they lived in. Kate and Jordan told stories from their lives that he had yet to hear. He and Tessa told them stories about their recent tour around Japan, about the food, the fans, the never-ending procession of hotels. At some point Scott lit the fire in order to keep them warm. The sun continued to shine above them, but its rays cooled as the minutes ticked by. They were souls beneath the summer sky, living lives that would forever be entwined and entangled. They were happy, they were free. 

“I am going to head in” Kate said with a yawn “thanks for a wonderful evening.” she planted a kiss on her daughters’ heads, wrapped herself in her shawl and headed back to the cottage, biding them all goodnight. 

“Goodnight, Mom” Tessa and Jordan said in turn as they enjoyed their mother’s kisses. 

“Goodnight, Kate” Scott said as he hugged her tightly and thanked her for the food. 

Jordan, Tessa and Scott huddled around the fire after packing all but the wine back into the picnic hamper. Jordan refilled their glasses and they sat together enjoying the peace. 

“I think Mom has really enjoyed having you here together” Jordan remarked “you should visit more often, Scott” 

Scott smiled “thanks Jord, I have really enjoyed it. I had forgotten how nice it is here, how secluded.” 

“I love how the world seems to stop existing” Jordan agreed. 

“Remember that summer we spent here and went out on the lake everyday?” Jordan asked “you must have been about 14, and you were determined that you could swim out to that island.” 

“I remember,” Scott smiled “I never made it” 

“A few more weeks and you would have done it” Tessa chimed in “your swimming was getting stronger every day” 

“I don’t know if I would ever really have had the nerve to get all the way there” Scott admitted “every time I got a little bit further away from the safety of you guys my heart beat out of my chest” 

Tessa looked at him, she had never known that it was his fear, and not his strength that stopped him that summer. She saw the younger him in a new light then; he had been so sure, so cocky, even, and she had admired it and also felt humbled by it. She saw the evolution of him. Now, he would admit his fears to her sooner than he’d admit them to himself. She looked at him sitting beside her and knew that she wanted to be there for him no matter what. She wanted to always be the person he ran to. She took another sip of wine and tried to bury the feeling that was rising in her chest. The crimson liquid slipped down her neck and dulled her mind. 

“I think I’m going to turn in as well” Jordan declared as she drained her glass “I’ll take some of this back to the house” she said as she bent down to pick up the picnic hamper. 

“No, it’s fine” Scott stopped her “we’ll bring it in” 

“Are you sure?” Jordan asked. 

“Sure” Scott replied “we’re going to stay out for a bit longer” 

Tessa’s ears pulsed as she heard his words, speaking for both of them, as if he knew her heart, as if he was diving into the danger they both knew hung between them. 

“Well, I’ll see you both in the morning” Jordan’s parting words as she retreated to the cottage. 

Scott refilled their glasses with the last of the wine and then lay back on his elbows. 

“We never get to see the sunset” he observed “we’re always inside” 

Tessa looked up at the sun as it began to dip towards the lake. Its edges were blurred, it was impossible to determine where the burning fire ended and where the sky began, one melting into the other, lines melting into each other, boundaries smudged like they were drawn in chalk. Nature's boundaries are constantly in flux, the idea that there is a solid line nothing more than human myth. All life is the stuff of stars and all love is free to make its own rules. 

“We don’t” Tessa agreed lying on her side and looking towards the sun. 

They lay in silence watching the sun make its way to the edge of the lake then disappear below the horizon. In its absence the stars took centre stage, the brightest shining first and then the others following their lead. A canopy of burning life and magic shone above the earth, putting on a show for the people who turned their eyes towards them. Scott lay down on his back and look up. The embers of the fire crackled as the flames died to a smoulder. He felt Tessa rest back beside him. 

“The stars are different out here” she remarked. 

“They’re so bright” he responded. 

“Someone miles away could be looking at the same stars” Tessa mused. 

“It’s so strange” Scott agreed “how we can be looking at the same stars but be in different places” 

“It makes you realise how big the world really is” 

“It does” 

“It makes me feel small” 

“We are small, Tess, in the universe we’re just specs” 

“I like that” 

“Me too. Like we could get lost in the world anytime we want” 

“Danny said that he wants to make more time to appreciate life” he wasn’t sure how or why he was saying it, just that it was on his mind and he needed to share it with her – he didn’t know why. “I mean, he said he found it difficult to escape” he felt he wasn’t making sense, that his words didn’t match his thoughts. 

“I can understand that” Tess replied “sometimes life just happens and there’s little time to stop and appreciate it.” 

Scott turned, propped himself on his elbow and looked at her – she understood, he knew she would, and he wanted to understand fully, too. He saw a shiver run down her shoulder. 

He grabbed the blanket that Jordan had vacated and pulled it towards himself. “come here, keep warm” he demanded. She scooted closer to him and positioned herself next to him, mirroring his body and lying on her side, her elbow acting as a stand and her arm as support for her head. Wine coursing through his mind he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her waist, making her head rest on his arm. She put up little fight, trusting him completely and yearning for the warmth of his body. 

“He said he loves his family, but he feels like life is passing” Scott said, wanting her to soothe his mind. 

“It’s not a negative, Scott” her voice lower now that they were face to face “it’s a realisation, a moment of clarity. Sometimes we live life without knowing it, seeing each day as an eternity. But, each day is just a moment in a bigger existence, Scott, and realising that can give you a clarity that hits hard, changes your mind set.” 

Scott lay in silence as he digested her words. 

“Clarity” Scott repeated, his words catching slightly. 

“Clarity” she repeated, her voice almost a whisper. 

Her hand, seemingly automatically, made its way to the side of his face and the rough stubble that lay there. He looked into her eyes. She looked into his, sank into them. His forehead moved towards hers, his eyes locked with her green ones. They were exposed, raw. No tickling, no kidding, no games, just the stars, the crackle of the fire and their lips inches from a kiss. Her tongue involuntarily came out to trace the line of her lips. He closed the gap, stopping to seek permission – she gave it by making contact. His lips felt smooth beneath hers. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She brought her lips together on his, tension, heat, she released, planting a kiss with the smallest sound. 

“We’ve had a lot of wine” he breathed, the words barely audible. 

“We have” she replied, breathing through her nose. 

“Does it make a difference?” his voice was guttural. 

“Maybe” her breath was almost a pant. 

“Not now?” his voice laced with desire. 

“Not now” she responded, closing her eyes and drinking in the sweet torture. 

“Go back to the house” he demanded, his voice taking on a tone of seriousness. 

“But...” she began. 

“Now, Tess” he growled. 

Her feet found the sand in an instant and she headed back to the house, head swimming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Morning beckons. Mexico beckons...
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you, for the feedback. To feel that this is appreciated and enjoyed makes it worth the effort. 
> 
> Hope you are all happy in your lives, for now and forever. xx


	5. Summer Separation Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one for you. Tension building...

Tessa crept quietly towards the kitchen, using the balls of her feet to soften her footsteps. She stretched up to take a travel mug from the cupboard and set the kettle to boil. She heard a stir in the room beyond followed by her mother appearing at the kitchen's entrance. 

“Have you got everything you need, sweetie?” Kate yawned. No matter how many years passed, and how many air miles Tess racked up, Kate's maternal instinct still led her to check that her daughter was prepared for her travels. 

“I have, thanks, Mom” Tessa smiled as she filled a zip lock bag with left over bits and pieces from the picnic the night before. She had already been in bed the previous night when Scott had brought in the remnants of the picnic. He'd arranged the left overs into tubs and bags and loaded the dishwasher with the plates and cutlery. There were five empty and washed wine bottles on the draining board. Wow, they really had got through some wine! 

“You'll drive carefully?” it was more a statement than a question really. 

“Of course” Tessa smiled as she poured coffee into the travel mug, making sure to fill it to capacity. Pushing on the lid she placed it next to her neatly packed bag. “I’m just going to say goodbye to Scott and then I’ll be off” 

She knocked lightly on Scott's bedroom door and heard no response. She put her hand to the handle and pushed down on it gently, breaking the room's seal. The darkness invaded her space as she stepped into the room and closed the door gently behind her. She could see his body curled under the blanket. The room smelt of him, she breathed in deeply before going towards the bed and kneeling down beside him. He stirred, sensing her presence next to him. 

“Hey” she whispered softly as he started to open his eyes. 

“Hey” he whispered back, his voice still thickly laced with sleep. 

“Sorry to wake you up” 

“It’s ok” he yawned, starting to come to his senses “you’re already dressed” he observed. 

“I’m driving home today, I leave for Mexico this afternoon” 

“Oh” there was a sound of surprise and disappointment in his voice. 

“I know we need to talk, Scott” her voice lowered “and we will, when I get back. I’m sorry to leave after...after...last night” 

“I didn’t realise you were going so soon” his voice pulling further from the murkiness of sleep. 

“Sorry” she said, sincerely “I know it’s not the best timing. I didn’t have the chance to tell you last night because... well, because we parted so quickly.” 

“Tess, last night I wasn’t...” 

“I know, Scott, I know. And we need to talk, but when there is time to talk properly.” 

“Yeah” he agreed “we need to talk properly” 

“Ok, so I will catch up with you when I get back, yeah?” 

“Yeah” he smiled “Are you coming straight to Ilderton for the party?” 

“Yeah, I’m going to fly straight there from Mexico. I am looking forward to it” 

“Me too” he smiled. 

There was a moment of silence as they both thought about how to end the moment. Scott leant up to kiss her forehead, she went for his cheek, there was a moment of confusion, of awkwardness, and they both let out embarrassed laughs. They pulled away. 

“See you soon” Tessa said placing her hand in his. 

“See you soon” he replied, letting her hand go and watching her walk towards his bedroom door, let in a slither of light and then disappear. 

*** 

“Can I get you a drink, Madam?” the air steward’s voice cut through Tessa’s thoughts. 

“Red wine” Tessa smiled in response. 

The steward poured a large glass of wine and placed it in front of her. She took the glass and turned her eyes to the window. The world furled out below her. She saw the lines of life running through mountains and beside rivers. From this height the world made perfect sense. Settlements next to free-flowing rivers, towns following flat plains and navigating around steep inclines. It seemed so natural, so inevitable; as if the houses and their people had been there as long as the hills and rivers themselves. The perspective humbled her as she truly came to understand her comfortable insignificance that made her an integral part of the cosmos. She raised the raised the glass to lips and poured the liquid onto her tongue. Her mind instantly leapt to the previous evening, the warmth of the blanket, the closeness of his lips, the sound of his breath. She inhaled. What were they doing? 

*** 

Scott lay on his bed back in his mother’s house in Ilderton. He looked at his phone – her flight should be landing soon. She would text him to let him know she had arrived, he waited in anticipation for his phone to vibrate, to re-establish the connection he craved. Craved – what was he thinking? Why was her contact so important to him now more than ever. What would have happened if he hadn’t told her to go back to the cottage? He shook his head in an attempt to push his thoughts away. He dragged himself from his bed and headed for the shower – it had been a long trip from the cottage and he wanted to freshen up before heading to a late dinner with his dad. 

*** 

Tessa lay back on her seat and inserted her headphones into her ears. The screen in front of her offered a small selection of films and she scrolled through the ‘classics’ section looking for something to entertain her for the rest of the flight. Everything she landed on she had seen before and didn’t feel in the mood for. She scrolled to the music selection, perhaps just closing her eyes and listening to a beat would help to settle her. She started listening to no fewer three albums before pulling the earphones out of her ears and throwing them into the bag between her feet. Her restless was frustrating her. She was headed to a photo shoot she had been excited about for months, it had meant to be a flight of excitement and expectation, knowing that Jessica was going to be meeting her at the airport. Instead she was unsettled, frustrated and confused about what was happening inside her head. 

*** 

Scott’s final release was building, his palms pushed against the steamy shower screen as he threw his head back and bent his knees. The hot stream of water felt as if it was burning his back as his breath shortened and he felt his orgasm starting to roll through his groin. He was on the verge, and she was there, her bare legs sliding across the paddle board, her wet bikini pants clinging to her hips, creasing to expose her soft, white skin, untouched by the sun. Before he could stop, her body was pressing against his beneath the water, sending shivers to his being. Spent, he leant his head against the shower’s cold glass as he panted for breath and closed his eyes, wondering what on earth was happening to him. He stood there under the shower’s stream trying to wash away the guilt, chastising his mind for betraying him. 

He became vaguely aware of his phone buzzing on the wash stand across the room. 

He couldn’t look at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for your lovely comments. I try to reply to everyone who takes the time to speak to me, hopefully I don't miss anyone. I really do appreciate the comments.


	6. Summer Separation Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not sorry, for the angst!

Tessa slipped her phone back into the pocket of her jeans as she walked towards the baggage carousel. They always let each other know that they were safe after journeys without the other, it was just one of their things. She kept the text simple: 

Just landed, about to meet Jess. 

“Tess” Jessica’s voice flowed across the room. She galloped towards Tessa and flung her arms around her “it’s so good to see you.” 

“It’s good to see you too” Tessa returned the embrace before quickly pulling away as she saw her bag emerge onto the moving belt. 

“How was your flight?” Jessica enquired as they headed towards the airport’s exit, Tessa pushing her wheeled bag along, Jessica at her side. 

“Fine” Tess replied, wanting to subconsciously avoid the fact that it had been near torture. “How long have you been here?” 

“I arrived yesterday, met with a few of the suppliers that we’re using and went out to the villa – it's gorgeous.” 

“Sounds great” 

“Thank you so much for doing this Tess, I really do appreciate it.” 

“Thank you for asking me!” Tess beamed back in reply “I’m not too sure I’m the best person to modelling wedding wear given that I haven’t actually been to a wedding in years, but I will do my best” 

“Tess, you look good in everything and anything” Jess smiled back “it’s going to be great.” 

Despite the fact it was evening when they stepped out of the air-conditioned airport and made their way towards the taxi rank, the air was still hot. 

“Don’t worry, the hotel has an outdoor pool” Jessica assured Tessa as she saw her wiping her brow “it’s the perfect place to cool off.” 

“I’ll be checking that out for sure” Tessa smiled as they sat in the back of the stuffy taxi “although, tonight all I want is a shower and a bed” 

“I hate that feeling after a flight” Jessica agreed. 

 

The hotel was not far from the hotel and they were soon paying the driver, bidding him goodnight and heading for their rooms. 

“See you for breakfast?” Jessica asked as they got to Tessa’s door. 

“Sure. What time?” 

“9am?” Jessica offered, “should give you time to relax before we head out to the villa tomorrow.” 

“Sounds perfect” Tessa replied “see you then. Goodnight” 

“Night, Tessa” Jessica smiled as she headed down the towards her own room. 

 

Once inside her room Tessa flung her jacket on the bed and headed straight for the shower. She knew sitting down would lead to lying down, would lead to sleeping and she would wake up in the morning feeling more disgusting than she presently did. Grabbing her phone from her jeans she looked at the screen – Scott’s reply to her message was waiting on her home screen 

Great, have fun. 

She looked at it for a moment. No kisses, no emoji (he was much more experienced with them than he let on!). She wished there was a way to hear his tone, to know whether his voice had the softness to it that held her safely. She exhaled, she really was making far too much of this, it was a text message, functional, normal. She threw her phone to the bed and let it bounce there as she headed to the bathroom. 

*** 

She was just pulling her hair up into a pony tail when she heard her phone vibrate beside her. 

I’m up at the pool having breakfast 

She picked up her bag, grabbed a bottle of water and headed up to join Jessica. 

“This is fancy” Tessa smiled as she sat on the sun lounger next to Jessica’s. 

“Just because we’re working doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy ourselves” Jessica smiled back. 

A waiter brought coffee and fruit to Tessa and she accepted gratefully, taking a swig of hot coffee the instant that it was given to her. 

“You must spend so much time in hotels” Jessica remarked as she sipped her orange juice. 

“So much” Tessa answered “but it’s nice, I am always with friends, so it doesn’t feel too much like being away from home.” 

“Where have you just come back from, Japan?” 

“Yes, and we love Japan, so it was so nice to be there” 

“You went to a Japanese baseball game I hear?” 

“Yes, we’ve wanted to go for ages, and it was amazing” 

“Any interesting baseball players?” Jessica’s smile was laced with a cheekiness that Tessa missed. 

“They were all really good, amazing athletes” 

Jessica smiled, loving the fact that Tessa had completely missed the point of her question and was, of course, focused on the sport she was watching and not the men Jessica was actually asking about. 

“I love the food over there as well” Jessica added. 

“It’s amazing isn’t it. We got some food in a traditional local restaurant after a game of golf and it was really nice – the best food I’ve had over there. Scott had these amazing noodles” Tessa was transported to the restaurant a she sat on the side of the pool. 

“And Vogue was obviously a highlight” Jessica grinned. 

“It still doesn’t feel real that I actually did that” Tessa beamed “so surreal.” 

“What did Scott think of it all?” 

“He enjoyed the day I think. It’s not really his thing, but...” 

“He’s really supportive of you” Jessica stated as she wiped her mouth on her napkin and returned it to the table. 

“We’re supportive of each other” media Tess spoke before any other Tess had the chance to respond. 

“You’re lucky” Jessica smiled. 

“I know” Tessa said quietly agreeing. 

“What’s he doing this week? I half thought he would be with you.” 

“He’s spending time with his family” her response was brief – she hadn’t meant it to be, but she didn’t really want to talk about him either, and what he was doing, where he was and what he was thinking “even we need a break from each other sometimes” she added with a laugh, attempting to lighten the mood and detract from the tone she thought her voice had carried. “What time do we need to be at the villa?” Tessa asked, changing the subject. 

Jessica looked at her watch “11am” she responded “the car will be here at 10.15. The rest of the team are going to meet us there. We have an hour put aside for hair and make-up and then we’ll do a few lighting tests, check the locations that we’ve chosen and then we’ll start with the dressing.” 

“I’m looking forward to it” Tessa beamed 

“Well, it’s no Vogue” Jess chucked “but we’ll do our best.” 

The women parted to go their rooms and prepare for the day before meeting in the lobby to meet the car that took them to villa. 

 

*** 

“Wow, what a location” Tessa stated as her eyes widened at the site of the villa sitting against a backdrop of perfectly manicured lawns, palm trees and a huge pool. The villa was already humming with activity when they stepped out of the car. On the driveway there was a clothing rail upon which were hanging a number of outfits covered by cotton clothes bags. There were tripods attached to wires standing in the back garden and lights hoisted on stakes surrounding benches, the pool and a flowered arch. As they stepped through the front door and in to the coolness of the tiled foyer they were met by the shoot’s make-up artist. 

“Jess” the young make-up artist greeted her as the women stepped through the door “I want you to look at a few of the designs I did at the last minute, I think they will really suit Tessa” 

“Excellent” Jess replied as she followed the woman to a room at the side of the foyer, Tessa following closely behind. 

The room was all set up as a studio and Tessa felt butterflies land in her stomach. She really loved taking part in shoots, she loved wearing the clothes and being a part of the process, but she always worried about not being good enough, the make-up not looking like the artist imagined it would, the pictures being a disappointment. After all, she was just her, an athlete, an ice dancer, not a model! 

“They look perfect” Jess beamed as she looked at the new sketches. “I really like the eye make-up on this one” 

“Great. I’ll get to work on Tessa’s base make-up then, and they we can see what you want for the first outfit” 

Jessica left Tessa with a smile as Tess headed towards the chair in front of the mirror. 

 

An hour later and Tessa’s hair had been put up in a beautiful but simple style that made her look elegant yet fashionable. The make up on her face looked natural, showing her effortless beauty. 

“Ok, I’ll just check what Jess wants to do first” the make-up artist smiled as she left Tessa for a moment. 

Upon her return she let Tessa know that Jessica wanted to start with shots of Tessa in the foyer with flower arrangements. 

“I will just add the finishing touches here” she said as she carefully applied a nude eyeshadow to Tessa’s eye lids and put a small amount of blusher on her cheek bones. “I’ll let Marco know that you are ready to get dressed.” 

A moment later a tall man entered the room pushing a clothes rail on wheels into the room. 

“Tessa” he beamed, his Italian accent making her name deep and low “It is so wonderful to meet you” he stepped to her and placed kisses on each of her cheeks in turn. Tessa returned his kisses, being careful not to smudge the lipstick that had been applied to her lips. 

“You look gorgeous” he smiled. Tessa blushed. She knew that such compliments were second nature to someone like Marco, who spent his days around models and beautiful clothes, but she never had found it easy to take compliments. 

“Looks like you’ve got quite a few things for me to wear there” she distracted, pointing at the rail next to him. 

“Yes, I have a lot of new bridal pieces that I want to get into the shoot” he responded “and they will definitely get noticed with Tessa Virtue in them.” 

She reddened again. 

“Let’s start with this dress” Marco enthused as he unzipped one of the clothes bags “I have not long finished it, so it really is new.” he handed Tessa a simple white gown with yellow flowers and stems running subtly through the fabric. 

Tessa took the dress, instantly loving the feel of the delicate fabric in her hands. She looked around the room – where was she meant to get changed? She had assumed that they would be going to another room – a fitting room where she would be given a robe and privacy to change. 

“Oh, sorry” Marco read her reaction and turned around to put his back to her. 

Tessa looked around once more, was he expecting her to get changed here? With him? Come on Tess, the guy is a professional, he does shoots every day, this is obviously how it works, you’re not some top model, you know. Tessa reminded herself. She slipped the summer dress she was wearing over her head to expose her matching bra and panties – she was so glad she had decided to bring her nicest lingerie, or this could have been (more) embarrassing. She started to spread the new dress out on the counter in front of her and looked for the zip. 

“Here, let me” Marco jumped as he moved towards her. She felt a shiver of embarrassment and anxiety run across her skin as he stood in front of her. She tried not to show it – she didn’t want him to think that she was unprofessional. Although, she also had to acknowledge her silent giggle as she remembered that she wasn’t a professional, but, to her, being good at what she was doing was important. 

Marco put the dress over her head and let it fall at her shoulders before reaching down to pull up the zip. His fingers touched the bare skin of her back. 

“There” Marco said as he stood in front of her and took her in “this fits you perfectly, I don’t even need to do any adjustment” 

“It’s a lovely piece” Tessa responded as she looked at the cream gown she was wearing. 

Jessica came to escort her into the foyer where there we elaborate bouquets of flowers set up. 

“If you can just stand here, Tess” Jessica motioned towards a huge spray of white lilies. Tessa walked towards the flowers standing next to them and being mindful of the dress. 

“That’s great” Jessica smiled “Just a little closer. Perfect.” 

“Ok, great, Tess” the new voice came from behind the camera that was on a tripod in front “we’ll start with some head on shots and then some from the side.” The photographer snapped away, asking Tessa to move this way and that as the shoot continued. 

“Can you get some close ups of the flowers?” Jessica asked as Tessa moved away to get changed into the next outfit. 

 

The late morning drew on into the afternoon and they worked through a series of set ups at different locations around the villa. Their last stop was the pool at the rear of the house. 

“Marco has some bridal swimwear” Jessica smiled at Tess “a bit unusual, I know, but I really want to push some new summer wedding ideas for next season and Marco is really excited about the designs” 

Tessa smiled as she headed off to get changed. Marco was standing ready with a white bikini when she got back to the room they were using. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you some privacy for this one” Marco smiled, a slight blush creeping at his neck. 

“Thanks” Tessa responded, her own blush kissing her cheeks. 

 

The pool photos were the last of the day, and Tessa felt a little sadness as the day came to an end; she really had enjoyed being a part of the shoot. She looked over at Jessica who was looking through a few of the shots with the photographer. Tess smiled, Jessica really was an extraordinary woman; wife, mother, best friend, business woman – she was all and everything and yet still so glamorous and ‘together’. It was no wonder that Jess was such a good wedding planner, she thought, she had such a good eye for fashion and colour, but also had the empathy to understand and feel the importance of someone else’s special day. She had wondered in the past how on earth a woman could not be in complete and utter control of her wedding day, how she could allow anyone else to take even a little bit of control, but seeing Jessica at work, she knew that when she got married she would trust her completely. She giggled to herself – she was planning her wedding planner, she may need to find a groom first! Then her mind caught up with her. What was she doing thinking about husbands and grooms? She hadn’t thought about a fairytale wedding since she was a young girl. What was happening to her? 

“Tess, we’re done, great pictures” Jessica broke her thoughts “you set for dinner tonight?” 

“Dinner, sure” Tessa responded, pulling herself from her thoughts “have we got time to go back to the hotel?” 

“Sure” Jessica responded “we’ll go back to the hotel, get changed and meet you at the restaurant” Jessica informed Marco. 

 

“You were great today, thanks.” Jessica said as they sat in the back of the car on the way back to the hotel “you’re a real natural” 

Tessa let a quiet and self-conscious laugh escape her lips. “The clothes were amazing” Tessa added, always quick to draw the attention away from herself. 

“Marco is amazing, isn’t he?” Jessica remarked 

“He’s really talented” Tessa agreed. 

“And single” Jessica couldn’t keep the sparkle out of her eyes as the words left her mouth. 

Tessa smiled and rolled her eyes. 

“He’s nice, Tess, you should get to know him” Jessica pushed, a smile creeping along his lips “plus, you know what they say about Italian men” she winked “they’re very passionate people” 

Tessa turned and laughed at Jessica’s words, knowing that her friend would love nothing more than to set her up with an Italian fashion designer. 

“And I’m a very busy person” Tessa replied, feeling the truth of her words hit her chest. She knew that it would be selfish to fall for anyone at the moment – she was barely in the same place two nights in a row, how could a relationship possibly work? 

“I wasn’t suggesting marriage, Tess. Just a bit of R and R” Jessica winked. 

Tessa giggled “I’m an old soul, Jess, you know that, one-night stands aren’t really my thing” 

“Who said anything about one night” Jessica teased “we’ve got a few days here, yet” 

Thankfully the driver alerted them to their arrival at the hotel before the conversation could progress any further. 

“Meet you in the lobby in an hour?” Jess said as they headed to their rooms to change. 

“Sure” Tess replied and she put her key card into the reader on the door and let herself into her room. 

Tessa sat at the dressing table and started to remove her make-up. She heard her phone buzz from her bag. She reached over and took it out, seeing that Jessica had posted a picture from the shoot on her personal account. It was one of her under the flower arch in one of Marco’s bridal trouser suits. Jessica had written about what a wonderful day it had been. Tessa quickly tapped out a reply to her comment saying how much she had loved it too. She was just locking her phone when she saw a text from a Scott. 

Spoke to Trevor – everything is on track. Hope you’re having a good time - looks like you are. X 

He must have seen the picture already. There was a kiss as well, which wasn’t weird for them. She read the message again, he hoped she was having a good time, that was positive, surely? And he must have thought she looked good in the picture to say that. Argh! She threw her phone on the counter in exasperation. Why was she interrogating and analysing a few simple words? It was Scott, they had sent hundreds, no, thousands, of text messages to each other over the years, why were these ones any different? But she knew full well why they were different. She picked her phone up and opened the message again. 

That’s good to hear. I’ve had a great day. Hope you’re having fun at home. X 

She looked at it again before sending it. She wondered whether it was enough, said enough. She pressed ‘send’ before she could obsess over it any further. 

*** 

“I love that dress!” Jessica cooed as she met Tessa in the hotel’s lobby. 

“Thanks” Tessa said as she looked down at the figure hugging blue dress that she was wearing. 

“Very hot” Jessica raised her eyebrows 

“Come on” Tessa smiled “let’s get to the restaurant so that we can get you a drink” 

After a few minutes in the car Jessica’s phone rang from her bag. Following a quick conversation with Marco, and a hurried change of plans, she informed Tessa that the restaurant they had planned to visit was over-booked and that they were now headed for a bar. 

“Sounds fun” Tessa responded. 

*** 

“Sorry, it’s pretty noisy in here” Marco shouted as he leant in and kissed them both as he met them at the door of the bar. 

“I’m sure it will sound just fine when accompanied with a cocktail” Jessica smiled as she headed towards the bar. 

The room was filled with people chatting and dancing as they sipped their drinks, laughed and enjoyed the company of the people around them. Jessica ordered cocktails for her and Tessa and a beer for Marco. 

“Cheers” they all said in unison as they clinked their drinks together. 

They drank and swayed to the music at the bar. Tessa enjoyed the feeling of being in a crowded room as it allowed her to shut out the thoughts that had been swirling around in her mind all day. The music seemed to become increasingly louder by the drink and soon she, Marco and Jess were huddled together at the far end of the bar. They pulsed to the music, ordering drinks with hand signals and the raising of their glasses. From across the crowded room Jessica spotted a hand in the air waving at her. A smile lit her face. 

“I’ll be back in a minute” she shouted into their huddle before dancing away from them and towards the person in the crowd. 

Tessa took another swig of her drink and felt its coolness spread to her head. A group pushed up beside them at the bar and sent her bumping into Marco. 

“Sorry” she mouthed. 

“No problem” he mouthed back. 

“I didn’t realise it got so busy in here” he said, but his words were lost in the chaos. Tess looked at him in confusion. He moved closer to her, wrapping his arm around her back as his mouth came up to her ear. “It’s busy than I thought” he repeated into her ear, making sure that she could hear him. She nodded and she, in turn, moved closer to him and put an arm around his waist to close the gap between them and bring her own mouth to his ear. “Not was I wasn’t expecting from ‘dinner’” she replied into his ear. 

Beside them Jessica has reappeared with the friend she had met in the crowd. She is just lowering her phone from taking a selfie, back against Tess, as Marco and Tess pulled apart to make room for her and her friend in the huddle. 

“Tess, Marco, this is Sara” Jessica shouts “we worked together on a shoot a few months ago” 

“Hey” Tessa and Marco both mouth as they extend their hands to the groups newest member. 

“The same again?” Tess shouts at Jessica, distracting her from the selfie she is posting. 

“Thanks” Jessica smiles as she posts the selfie of her and Sara to her private Instagram account with the caption - ‘loving friendships, new and old’. 

*** 

Scott hears his phone buzz on his night stand. He picks it up and looks at the notification that tells him that Jess has posted a new photo. He opens it, hoping, secretly and subconsciously, that it is another picture of Tess from the shoot. What he was not expecting, or hoping to see, however, is a picture of Tessa with her arm around a man’s waist and her face in his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your comments. It is so nice to interact with people who are invested in the story - it makes it even more fun to write.


	7. Summer Clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one to get you started today. Another chapter later on, hopefully.

Scott pushed open the door of the gym and sucked in the familiar and comforting smell. He knew straight away, as soon as he saw Jessica’s picture that he needed to grab a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and head for Ilderton’s only 24 hour gym. Over the years he had learnt that pouring his anger into exercise was the only safe escape. In his younger days he had let it overtake him, become him and it proved toxic for the people around him; for Tess.

He headed straight for the exercise bike, ramped up the tension and started peddling like his life depended on it. The pain usually distracted him, the burning in his calves the only thing that he could focus on. But it wasn’t enough. Before he knew it the thoughts he was trying so hard to drown out rolled as quickly as his feet turned. The picture of her arm around that man was burnt into his mind and it appeared there in haunting technicolour, glaring at him. He allowed his mind to wander to the bar and what happened when she pulled out of the embrace and looked him in the eyes. A growl escapes his mouth as he peddles faster. Why was he reacting like this? They weren’t together. He had no claim over her, no right to be angry at her for being with another man. Sure, he should want to protect her, as a friend, he should be looking out for her, as he always had done. But he knew that the feeling pulsating in his chest was jealousy, there was no way he could deny it to himself. Wheels turning, sweat dripping from his brow, his mind was back on the moonlit beach, their faces inches from each other, her lips on his. Perhaps that moment wasn’t what he had thought it was. They were drunk, they were under the stars, and the kiss she had given him was not open mouthed, it was not deep. It had lingered for a moment, yes, but time around them was lingering too, at the cottage, away from life, the clock ticked to a different rhythm. Or, perhaps she had meant it, perhaps there was something there that night, a moment, a feeling, them standing on a boundary, and now, with time away, she had, had the chance to think and she had decided that it had been a horrible drunken mistake. She’d moved on. Perhaps even to soothe her own feelings. Perhaps she felt dirty somehow and wanted to erase him as her most recent male contact, perhaps she was trying to put him out of her mind. 

He jumped off the bike, his head swimming with thoughts. He grabbed two hand weights from the stand – they were heavier than he needed and he knew that his arms would ache in the morning, but he welcomed the thought of a dull ache to drown out the ache in his mind. His heart rate began to slow as he lifted the weights up and down, gritting his teeth against the burning in his arms. As his heart calmed, so did his mind. Perhaps she was right; they had such a good relationship, a partnership, a friendship and they had worked so hard to make it a success. Feelings, expectations, intimacy, they could ruin it. The risk was there and with time away perhaps Tessa had seen the light that he should be seeing too. Perhaps she understood that the risk just wasn’t one that they should be taking. They really were business partners now, with the tour to plan and the party to throw, and hearts really weren’t the things they needed to tangle right now. He knew Tess would find it difficult to talk to him about it – despite all their counselling and coaching on their communication, this was a conversation that they were not prepared for. She got Jessica to post that picture knowing he would see it, sending him a message and shutting down any possibility of their conversation going anywhere other than ‘mistake, we were drunk, won’t happen again’. Plus, maybe she really liked the man in the picture, maybe he was the one she would find her happiness with and he should support that, not stand in her way. He felt his mind clear as he replaced the weights. She was right, there was nothing for him to question, nothing for him to be jealous about. His previous jealousy was replaced by sadness as he thought of not being able to spend his time with her, ruining their relationship over one drunken kiss. He would make sure that this went away and went away quickly, just as she wanted it to, just as it should. When she got back they would mention it, bury it and move on.


	8. Summer Clarity Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one for you here.   
> Oh, these fools!  
> Hopefully another update this evening (UK time).

The hum of the beach surrounded Tessa as she lay on a sun lounger allowing the heat to seep into her skin. She could hear the waves lapping the shore in the distance, calming her, lulling her into a serene tranquility. 

“I wasn’t sure whether you liked red or white best” Marco’s voice interrupted her silence and his shadow threw coolness over her body “so I went for a bottle of both” 

Tessa sat up to see Marco holding two bottles of wine and three glasses before him. He settled onto the sun lounger between her and Jessica and asked which they wanted. Tessa accepted red and Jessica opted for the white. 

“Thanks so much, Marco” Jessica smiled “you didn’t have to get the drinks, though, you have already put so much into this day for us” 

“Not at all,” Marco replied as he lay back on his sun lounger, drink in hand “I am just so grateful that you two beautiful women agreed to wear my new bikini range today. The exposure will be great once the photos get out” 

“Well, they are amazing” Tessa smiled as she looked down at the sky blue bikini she was wearing. 

“Well, if you’d post a few photos to your Instagram account and tag me, Tessa, that would be brilliant” 

“Of course,” Tessa agreed “I was about to go and cool off in the sea, why don’t we get a couple of selfies before I go and then we can post them later” 

Tessa, Jessica and Marco huddled together and the girls positioned themselves to allow their bikini tops to show in the pictures. Wine in hand they smiled at the camera and Marco took a few snaps on his phone. 

“What about just the two of you together as well” Marco asked as he left them and stood up. Jess and Tessa stood up and stood side by side, putting an arm around each other. 

After they had finished with the photo they headed down to the water’s edge. Tessa could feel the sun beating on her back and a few drops of sweat beginning to slip between her shoulder blades. As she stepped into the water she welcomed its coolness and was soon waist deep. Marco came up beside her and splashed water at her, making her laugh. 

“Jessica had to take a phone call” he informs her as Tessa looks around in order to locate her friend. Tessa headed further into the water, allowing herself to become out of her depth before paddling idly and bobbing along the water’s surface. 

“You don’t get time to holiday a lot” Marco observed. 

“Not a great deal” Tessa smiled “but our work, takes us to a lot of places and we get time off when we are there, so it’s not too bad” 

“The busy life of an athlete” 

“Indeed” Tessa smiled “but I like it” 

“And would there be time in a busy athlete’s life to go out for dinner?” Marco asked, lowering his voice in order to draw her into the intimacy he was trying to create. 

Tessa moved her legs under the water, wishing that there was ground beneath her for her to stand on. 

“I...” she looked flustered 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward” Marco scrambled, genuinely not wanting to have offended her “I should probably have waited until we were somewhere you could run away when I asked you” 

“No, no” Tessa tried to pull the conversation back under her control “it’s not that... it’s not you... you’re nice...I...I’m...it’s comp...I’m in a relationship” she settled for – it wasn’t a lie, not completely, it was a ‘relationship’ she was in with Scott, just perhaps not quite the type she was suggesting. 

“Oh God. I’m sorry” Marco said raising his hands “Jess said...” 

“Jess doesn’t know about my relationship with....with...another person” Tess stuttered. Great, now she was going to have to lie to her friend, no, worse, she was going to have to get this man, whom she had known for all of 24 hours to lie to her friend. 

“Look, Tessa, it’s fine, I understand” Marco’s words were genuine and filled with friendly compassion “I spend most of my days working with women whose private lives have become the property of the media, that you want a little privacy in a relationship is fine. You can trust me.” 

“Thanks” Tessa smiled as she let out a sigh of relief “and thanks for arranging today, Marco, I really have had fun” 

“You’re welcome” Marco smiled as he held his arms out towards her and then both giggled as they doggy paddled towards each other to ‘hug it out’. 

After Marco had left to get back to the beach, Tessa lay back in the water and allowed herself to float along under the sun’s rays. She heard her words to Marco echo through her mind ‘I’m in a relationship’. She could have just said that she had no time to date, that she saw him as a friend, that she was gay – anything, but she had chosen to make a commitment to Scott and whatever it was that was going on between them. She realised that saying anything else would feel like a betrayal. A betrayal of what? A drunken kiss and a promise to talk? She thought about why the kiss had happened - they were relaxed, free of the bonds of competing, and they were alone in a place where no one else could see them. The space, the time, the wine, all of them had given them the permission to explore the beyond the boundaries they had created. But stepping over the boundaries now, testing them out, seeing the possibilities that lay across the line was something they could do together, carefully and slowly, knowing that the boundary was still there if they wanted to retreat to it. She smiled as she thought of Scott waiting for her in Ilderton. Her joy was usurped by a fluttering in her stomach and a hitch in her throat – this was new territory and a whole new level of communication, but she knew that if anyone could do it, they could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love our conversations on here - thanks so much.  
> I am so happy that so many people are enjoying this as much as I am enjoying writing it!


	9. Summer Breakdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another short one because everything feels like it need a 'moment' to itself at the moment. Don't worry, longer chapters will follow!

Scott stood quietly searching her out in the sea of people swarming the arrivals lounge. She suddenly appeared, her smile radiant despite the hours of waiting and flying she had endured. He waved his arm in the air to get her attention and call her towards him. 

“Hey, T” he smiled as she met him. He took her bag from her hand automatically. 

“Hey” she smiled “thanks for meeting me”

“No problem. What a journey!”

“I know! I was expecting a delay, but a full cancellation.”

They walked through the busy foyer and out into the Canadian weather. Tess felt a sense of relief at the coolness of the air. She and Jess had spent their last few days in Mexico taking in some of the sights and the culture and they had found the heat oppressive. They had been so glad to have the ocean to cool off in. 

They made their way towards Scott’s car, weaving in and out of holiday makers dressed in loud shirts and sporting a variety of head gear. Tessa always liked the contrast of the departure and arrival lounges. In departures she loved the sense of expectation and excitement. She loved to watch families excited and filled with anticipation. The arrivals lounge didn’t have the same dizziness to it, it was more mellowed, but there was a feeling of satisfaction and a sense that new experiences had bonded families and travelers alike. She always thought that she would love to hear all of the stories that people in arrivals had to tell. 

“I spoke to Trevor earlier” Scott said as he placed her bag in the back of the car and headed for the driver’s seat. 

“Is everything still on track?” Tessa asked as she got into the passenger’s seat of his car and pulled the seat belt towards its buckle. Scott had been keeping her updated on his chats with Trevor every day, but he never gave any details, keeping his text messages short and functional. 

“Perfectly” Scott answered “he said that the work is going well and, at this point, he sees no reason why they won’t be ready on time”

“That’s great” Tessa smiled. 

“Here” Scott said reaching a hand across the centre console and handing her two bars of chocolate that he had picked up from the gas station on the way to the airport “welcome home”

“Thanks” she smiled “you know me too well.” She pealed back the wrapper from one of the bars and broke a square of chocolate off with the tips of her fingers. She leant over and put it to his lips and his mouth opened to accept it. She deposited a second piece into her own mouth. 

“You should see what Mom and Cara have done to the arena for tomorrow” Scott smiled, moving the chocolate around in his mouth whilst also concentrating on the road in front of him “it looks amazing”

“I am so sorry that I haven’t been there to help” 

“Tessa, your flight was cancelled, there was nothing you could have done about that!”

“I know, but I feel like you and your family have put so much effort into it and I...”

“Tess, I have had very little to do with it, I assure you, the Moir clan have taken complete control of it!”

“They’re all so kind” Tessa smiled “we need to make sure that we really thank them”

“Well, we have the jewelry that you picked out for everyone, and then I thought perhaps we’d have a meal after the party”

“That sounds perfect” Tess agreed “some time to spend with just them”

“Exactly” Scott replied “and we can let them know then how grateful we are for all of the hard work they have put into the party”

They drove along together for another twenty minutes, sharing the chocolate, and Scott catching her up with emails and phone calls related to the tour. Tess marveled at the way they always seemed to slot back together, coming back to each other like no time at all had passed, falling back into the grooves they’d etched together. 

“So, Mexico was good?” it was more of a knowing statement than a question. 

“It was fun” Tessa replied “the shoot went well and it was nice to spend some time with Jess”

“That’s good” Scott replied.

He noticed that she had a lightness about her, a happiness. He knew that it would be partly due to the break she’d had and the time she’d spent with Jess. He was sure that some of it must also originate from the relationship she’d struck up with Marco – he hadn’t been able to stop himself from Googling Tessa’s new fashion ‘friend’ when she’d tagged him in her bikini shots. As he’d scrolled through the guy’s IG account and his website, he realised that he was just the kind of person that Tessa was likely to get on well with; into fashion, exciting, not involved in the skating world that filled every other part of her existence. He’d decided that it would be a good thing for her to date someone outside of skating – someone who would show her a different existence. He had resolved to be happy for her, for them both. However, he knew Tess well enough to know that she was not going to talk about Marco with him yet – she liked to give things time, not rush into things with grand gestures and her heart on her sleeve. He did, however, have his speech planned for Marco once he met him, warning him about breaking her heart. He knew that once Tess found ‘the one’ she would make herself more vulnerable than she had ever been. He knew that she would be ‘all in’, it’s just what she was like – she threw herself into the things she loved and truly believed in and he knew that the man she threw herself into a relationship with would need to be very careful and patient with her heart.

“Look, Tess” he tried to keep his voice as straight as possible – she was his oldest and best friend, he could talk to her about anything, even this “about what happened at the cottage before you left.”

She turned to face him as they pulled into the road his mom’s house was in. He continued to concentrate on the road ahead, maneuvering around parked cars. 

“We’d both had a lot to drink and the moment got the better of us, but I don’t want it to become something awkward between us.”

She inhaled – ok, they were having this conversation now?

“We got caught up in a moment, made a mistake.”

He said the last word so casually and yet it felt like a burning arrow to her chest. 

He reached over and put his hand on her knee and turned to smile at her “It doesn’t have to change anything”

He pulled his car onto the drive and pulled the key out of the ignition. 

“Come on, Kiddo,” he smiled “Mom’s made your favourite for tea”

Tessa sat motionless as he shut the car door and started towards the front door of the house.


	10. Summer Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, bit more of a wait for this one - I am visiting family.   
> We're getting there now, but this one is totally on Tessa, guys! Its her heart that is going to have to be risked!

Before Tessa could so much as take a deep breath and prepare herself to leave the car and make her way towards the house, Alma was beside her and pulling open the car door. 

“Tess” she beamed as she grabbed Tessa by the hand and almost pulled her out of the car “it has been such a long time, sweetie” 

“I know” Tessa beamed back “too long” 

“Everyone’s here” Alma told her “and everyone is so excited about tomorrow.” 

Tessa and Alma walked back towards the house together and entered the chaos that was the Moir household. There were boxes stacked in the hallway ready to be taken to the venue the following day. Spare bunting was strewn around the kitchen creating a picture of black and ruby happiness. Chattering and voices spilled from the lounge and she was able to pick out the tones of Joe and Cara. She heard Scott laughing with his brother, Charlie. She stood for a moment and let the chaos flow over her. Ordinarily he would shy away from such situations, crawl into her shell and be an observer, allow everyone else’s interactions and energy to fill the space. But she felt different standing there amongst the happiness and the love that radiated around the Moir household and family. She felt as if she slotted straight into the hum of the chaos in a way that made her want to be a part of it and engage in what was happening. 

“Hey, T” Scott yelled from the lounge. 

She smiled at the way he knew she was there despite the fact that she’d not said a word since walking into the house. 

“Come and look at this video” he said between giggles. 

She made her way into the lounge and saw Scott, Danny and Charlie sat on the sofa, all huddled around Danny’s phone. She made her way towards them, looking to claim a spot on the arm of the sofa behind Scott so that she could look over his shoulder. Before she could reach her destination Scott’s arm encircled her waist as he pulled her down onto his lap. She looked over at the screen and watched a video of Danny and Charlie, red and black bunting wrapped around their bodies, ‘dancing’ the Moulin Rouge routine around their mother’s backyard. Their clumsy and camp twists and spins had her in hysterics in an instant. 

“We thought we might recreate the dance tomorrow during the parade” Charlie laughed 

“Yeah, and then we saw this and realised what a bad idea that would be” Danny giggled. 

“Don’t want to steal your thunder and all” Danny added. 

Tessa felt Scott’s body vibrate with giggles beneath her. She paused for a second, bringing her awareness to the situation they were in. It was a situation in which they had found themselves a million times over the years – his space was hers and visa-versa. They’d curled up together in the back seat of the car as kids, they’d shared a bed as adults; being in each other’s personal space was as natural as breathing. But as she sat there on his legs all she could feel was the brief taste of him that lingered again on her lips. His words from the car rang through her ears, well, just the one word - ‘mistake’. It hung there in her mind, she hadn’t had time to process the conversation and she knew it was going to run circles around her mind until she gave it the time it deserved. She slid off his lap, needing to break the contact without knowing exactly why, but feeling the need to break away from him. As soon as she moved away from him Cara caught her in her excitement. 

“Tess” she threw a hug around her “for a moment there I thought you weren’t going to make it!” 

“I know” Tessa smiled, trying to match Cara’s energy “there was a moment when I thought I was going to be stuck in that airport forever. It looks like so much has been going on here, Cara, we are so grateful for all of this work” 

“Tess, stop” Cara smiled “it has been an absolute pleasure. We are so proud of you both” 

Tessa felt two familiar arms snake around her waist and the pressure of a body she knew to be Scott’s on her back. 

“I’m so proud of her” she smiled resting his head on her shoulder and looking at Cara “she’s amazing, isn’t she?” 

In any other version of this situation she would have returned the compliment, telling Scott how proud of him she was, reaching to put her hands on his, but this wasn’t any other version of the situation, this was Scott pretending like nothing had happened whilst she was trying to push down the growl of his voice as he’d told her to go back to the house that night at the cottage. 

“Tessa” Alma’s voice freed her from the moment “come and eat” Alma ordered from the lounge’s doorway. 

Tessa, noticing the rumble in her stomach for the first time since she’d arrived, happily followed Alma into the kitchen. 

“I’m glad you’re here” Alma said as she took Tessa’s dinner from the oven where she had been keeping it warm “Scott has been a bit stressed out in the past few days – you know what he’s like without you; he needs your grounding!” Alma talked about her son with endearment as she placed the plate in front of Tessa and warned her that it was too hot to touch. 

Tessa thanked her for the plate of food and picked up her fork, ready to dig in. 

“I left Scott with a lot to do” Tessa said, feeling the need to apologise to Alma for the state Scott had been in. 

“Tessa, he’s a grown man, he can cope with a bit of stress now and again – keeps him on his toes. He’s been going to the gym most days as well, so he has had a good balance” 

“That’s good to hear” Tessa replied. She knew Scott had used the gym as a way to destress – during the comeback he had worked hard with their mental prep coach to work out ways of dealing with the inevitable stress of competing and the gym had provided him with an easy and safe way to let off steam. She made a mental note to bring it up with him and tell him she was proud of him for it. 

Tessa was allowed to finish her meal in relative calm, Alma fending off her children and their demands on Tessa as she ate. 

“Tessa, do you want to see some pictures of the route and the arena” Cara said sitting down beside her once Alma had cleared away Tessa’s plate. 

“Sure” Tessa beamed. 

Cara leant towards her and opened the picture on her phone, scrolling through each one and pointing out subtle differences in the alignment of bunting or the placement of banners. 

From the doorway that lead from the kitchen to the lounge, Scott watched the women smiling and laughing together. He loved the way his family embraced her, the way she slotted in so perfectly to their life. He watched as Cara’s eyes lit up with each compliment and he marveled at Tessa’s genuine kindness and gratitude. As he stood and watched them he realised, again, just how entwined in each other’s lives they were and how there was nothing for which they should risk that; certainly not a drunken kiss on a beach. He saw her at ease and happy and was glad that he had broached the subject quickly on the way home, putting it out of their minds and their lives forever. 

“A drink, guys?” Scott sang out as he entered the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine from the wine rack next to the sink. 

“Yes, please!” Cara accepted “I need it!” 

“I’m going to keep a clear head for tomorrow” Tessa responded with a smile. The thoughts flowing through her mind were already jumbled and running in and out of each other, she didn’t need to confuse them with alcohol. 

Scott poured two glasses of wine and passed one to Cara. Cara picked up the glass and headed back to the lounge with the promise of being up and about bright and early the next morning. 

“Sorry, this is a lot when you’re already tired from your flight” Scott apologised as he took a sip of his wine and leant against the kitchen counter. 

“No,” Tessa smiled “not at all, I like being with your family” 

“And they like you” Scott responded. 

A yawn involuntarily passed over Tessa’s lips. 

“Sorry” she smiled. 

“My mom’s made up the spare room for you” Scott informed her “but the light blew in there earlier. Let’s go up and I will replace the light whilst you have a shower” 

Tessa smiled at how he always looked to take care of her. She was looking forward to getting into bed after such a long day. 

 

Scott was balanced on a chair, sleeves rolled up, attempting to put a new light bulb into the fitting above his head when Tessa emerged from the slower wrapped in a towel. 

“There we go” he said with pride as he hopped down from the chair and landed in front of her. 

“Thanks” she smiled “I am looking forward to having a good sleep tonight” 

“Let me know if there’s anything you need” Scott smiled “I’ve moved out of my room for the night, so I am bunking with Danny” 

Tessa knew that Alma put a camp beds in Danny’s old bedroom when they had more guests than they could accommodate in the house’s spare rooms. The thought of offering him to share the double bed in her room crossed her mind, but then she wasn’t sure how she would cope with that, her mind was so chaotic that she wasn’t sure lying next to her all night was a good idea– not because she didn’t trust herself with him, far from that, but because she knew her mind wouldn’t allow her any calm if he was there. 

“Scott” Alma’s voice appeared at the door “sorry” she blushed as she saw Tessa in her towel “I can’t find the spare blanket for your bed, but I think there is a sleeping bag in the garage. 

“It’s ok, Ma” Scott assured her “I’ll dig around and find something” 

“Look behind the boxes at the back” Alma advised. “If you can’t find anything there, try in the...” 

“Ma, it’s fine” Scott cut her off, not wanting her to worry about him after all she had done for them over the past few days. 

“Ok, let me know if you need any help” Alma said before turning around to leave “night, Tess.” 

“Night, Alma” Tess smiled back. 

Tess looked at the rings starting to form around Scott’s eyes. She saw the stress he had taken for both of them over the past few days. She looked again at the double bed behind them. They had slept in the same bed a thousand times over the years, for convenience, for comfort, because they had fallen asleep watching a film or choreographing a skate. He had made it clear, through his words in the car, and his actions during the evening, that nothing had changed between them, that they were the same now as they were all the other times they had shared a bed. 

“Stay in here” she offered before she could think about it any further “it’s late, we’ve got a big day tomorrow, you need a good night of sleep” 

“Thanks” he accepted “I don’t fancy rooting through the garage right now to be honest. I’ve just got to confirm a few things about tomorrow with Cara, finish my glass of wine and then I will be in. I’ll try not to wake you.” He smiled as he said the last sentence – they both knew that it would take a bulldozer attacking the house to even get close to waking her. 

*** 

Tessa felt his presence as soon as he entered the darkened room. She stayed perfectly still under the covers as she heard him tip-toeing past her and to the bed. She heard him pull his t-shirt over his head and deposit it on the chair at the bottom of the bed. Next followed the sound of him unzipping his jeans and allowing them to drop to the bedroom floor. It was seconds before he stepped closer to the bed and then slid beneath the covers, bringing the chill of the outside world with him. She couldn’t help but jump as his cold toes touched her calf, giving herself away. 

“Sorry” he whispered “did I wake you?” 

“No” she whispered back without moving “I haven’t been able to fall asleep yet” 

“Well, you know how restless you are” he whispered 

“You’ve read?” she countered. 

He giggled “you really are never going to let me forget that, are you?” 

“Nooope” 

 

Scott lay on his back with arms above his head and Tess remained curled on her side, back to him. 

“Tomorrow feels like a bit of an end” he said slowly, deep in thought. 

“I know” she replied simply, knowing exactly what he meant because she had already had the same thought herself lying in there alone in the dark. 

“But endings turn into new beginnings, Scott” 

“Hmm” he responded, clearly feeling his emotions sinking through his mind 

“And once the tour is over and the retirement is official you can start the coaching you’ve always wanted to do” 

“I am looking forward to that” 

“And start a family” her voice was quieter – for some reason the words felt half formed as they left her mouth and fell into the darkness of the room. 

“Yeah” the word was spoken in the space between them but it felt like it was murmured from a watery depth and struggled to float to the surface. 

“Night, Tess” 

“Night, Scott”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all and our chats so much!


	11. Summer Gratitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say.......oh, Scott!

Scott opened his eyes slowly, momentarily confused by his surroundings. The spare room, of course, he had slept in here last night with Tess. Tess. He rolled over, expecting to see her sound asleep, but there were only bare sheets beside him. He pushed himself up slowly, resting against the headboard. Looking to his left he saw a cup and plate on the bedside table, steam rising from hot tea. He smiled as he saw a hand-written note standing between the croissant and the cup. 

_Stay in bed, enjoy your breakfast, and drink in your final moments of peace. T xx_

He smiled at her thoughtfulness - living their lives at one another’s sides meant that they shared the same moments and emotions, and so she knew him better than anyone else ever could because they were so often in the same mind space, becoming the same person. She knew that today was going to be exhausting, even for him, who loved being around people and being with his family. Today the attention was going to be on them, and they wanted to work hard to make sure that it was on the people around them. This was not a day of celebration for their success or for their work, but for the people who had supported them for so long and in so many ways. He wanted to do everything today to ensure that ‘his’...’their’ people felt loved and valued for all that they had given. He wanted to make sure that everyone had a great day, and wanted for nothing. 

He was about to reach over and pick up the cup when he felt the bed vibrate beneath him. Lifting up the sheet that was tangled around his legs, he searched the bed for his phone. The vibrating stopped after three repetitions, so he knew there would be a message waiting for him when he found it. After striping the sheet off of himself completely he heard the phone fall out of the tangled material and onto the floor beside the bed. Swinging his legs around to the side of the bed he reached down and retrieved the phone – it was Tessa’s. He looked at the screen and saw a notification telling him that the text message was from Jess, the first two words of the message were previewed in the notification box: 

_Marco and..._

__

__

Scott reached over and placed the phone on Tessa’s bedside table. He took a deep breath as he felt something roll in his stomach, something that felt like nerves or, at least, a sense of unease. Seeing his name there in black and white had caught him by surprise. Of course Jess knew about Marco and Tess – she was there, she took the picture of them! It was just strange to think that Jess knew something so intimate about Tessa’s life that he didn’t. Not that he felt he had a right to know, not at all, just that he was used to being the one that she shared things with. He didn’t see why a boyfriend had to be any different – it wasn’t like she needed to ‘break it to him gently’ or anything, they weren’t ex-lovers – it was just him, Scott. He supposed that she would tell him in her own time and in her own way. Perhaps she was just feeling a bit shy about it, after all there hadn’t been anyone, that he was aware of, for quite a few years. He resolved that the feeling in his stomach was probably just a reaction to the surprise of seeing his name there on her phone and the remnants of the anger he had felt after seeing the photograph for the first time when Jess had posted it. His mind had been in a different place at that point, before he had realised that Tess felt they had a mistake when they had kissed, and before he had come to realise that she was right. Satisfied that he had dealt with his response and quietened his mind about it, he grabbed his towel from the radiator and headed towards the bathroom. 

*** 

Tessa was in the kitchen and looking at the bottom of her second mug of coffee when Scott emerged, freshly showered and shaved. He smiled at her and made his way to the breakfast counter where she was sat, he rounded the back of her high stool and looped his arms around her neck, pulling her into his body. He bent down and dropped a kiss on the top of her head “thanks for breakfast” 

“You’re welcome,” she smiled back as she finished the last of her coffee “you ready for today?” 

“As I’ll ever be” he responded, leaning his chin on her head “I am so proud of us Tess, I am so proud of you and so grateful to have found you” 

“I know” she replied, bringing her hands to cover his, telling him that she knew where his words were coming from and why “I know” she repeated as she rubbed his hands with his own “and today we get to thank all of the people who are a part of everything we have achieved” 

“We do” he smiled “and there is no one else in the whole world I would want to share today with othger than you, Tess” 

“No one else but us” Tessa replied, bringing his right hand to her lips and placing a kiss on it “let’s enjoy today” 

“So, all of the caterers have signed in” Cara was looking down at the clipboard she was carrying as she headed into the kitchen, navigating without even needing to lift her eyes “the cakes have been dropped off at the arena already” she continued “and the bouncy castle is being inflated as we speak” 

She looked up to see Scott finishing the dregs of his tea and heading towards her “what can I do to help, Cara?” he asked, wanting to get stuck in. 

“You, Moir,” she smiled “can sit back and enjoy your day” 

“But, Cara, you’ve done so much already” Scott protested. 

“Well, all the more reason to let me get on with it” Cara beamed back with a giggle, knowing that logic and a bit of teasing would be her strongest weapon against Scott “Plus, you need to be on the lead float in an hour, so you can be preparing for that and getting yourself across town ready for its departure.” 

“Ok,” Scott smiled “I think we can manage that. We’ll get our things together and head over there now. Please Cara, just call one of us if there is anything you need us to do” 

“Ok” Cara’s voice sounded from the hallway that she was already half way down. 

Tessa and Scott returned to the bedroom to grab their jackets, change of clothes and phones. Scott was in the bathroom brushing his teeth when Tess picked up her phone from the nightstand and noticed its light flashing. Turning on the screen she saw the message from Jess: 

_Marcos and I are in Toronto tomorrow doing a shoot with his new line. Will you and Scott be free to meet us for dinner? Xxx_

Tessa smiled as she tapped the screen to reply. 

_That would be lovely, thanks. I am a cert – will check with Scott what his plans are. Xxx_

“Have you seen my black hold-all?” Scott asked as he came back into the bedroom. 

“In front of the shoe cupboard downstairs?” Tessa suggested. 

“Oh, yeah” Scott replied as he recollected putting it there the previous evening after packing it “great, I am ready to go then” 

“Me too” 

*** 

The meeting point for the start of the float parade was a large car park at the edge of the town. When they arrived the area was already filled with excited children dressed in costumes. 

“Wow” Tessa said as they pulled into the car park. 

“Wow” all Scott could manage was a direct echo of her words. 

“They all look amazing” 

Before they could get any further in their conversation there was a horde of glitter and spandex heading towards them. Scott, beaming at the sight, jumped out of the car and threw his hands in the air in greeting. The place erupted with whoops and cheers. Tessa’s exit from the vehicle elicited a repeat performance. Scott and Tessa greeted parents and children alike, stopping to take selfies with all whom asked. As the excitement died down, Scott climbed on to one of the floats in order to address the crowd. 

“It is so good to see you all here” he shouted “you all look amazing. Thank you so much for all of the effort that you have put in to making today amazing. Have fun and make sure that you join us at the arena for food, dancing and fun afterwards.” 

Just 45 minutes later they were being pulled out of the car park by a series of trucks being driven by a number of Ilderton locals. Tessa and Scott were standing on the first float and behind there was a menagerie of dancing, gymnastics, live music and colourful costumes. The floats were made of local children’s dance groups, local bands and children from the local school. The residents of Ilderton lined the streets, singing, dancing and cheering as the procession passed through the town. Scott and Tessa waved and laughed as they were pulled along, kissing their hands and throwing kisses to the crowd. On the side of their float was a huge banner with the words ‘Thank You Ilderton’ emblazoned in ruby and black. 

“This is amazing” Tessa said to Scott as she waved to the people around them “I am so glad we are doing this” 

“Me too” Scott agreed. He was enjoying seeing the people of his hometown happy, and he was so proud to be their ‘boy’. But, most of all, he was excited for the latter part of the day when everyone would be gathered at the arena, inside and out, and they would have the chance to talk to people and to thank them personally. 

*** 

Tessa swiveled the microphone towards Scott as they stood on the stage in front of the band. 

“Tune” a voice yelled from the crowd, making Scott laugh. The room laughed in unison before silence fell once more. 

“We’ve got a barbecue, so don’t want to call on the rain” Scott joked in reply. 

“I am going to keep this short because I know there is beer to be drunk and food to be eaten, and we hope to talk to each and every one of you during the evening, but Tess and I want to thank you for turning up today.” 

A cheer reverberates around the room. 

“but not just for today” Scott continues as everyone gives them his attention “we want to thank you for always turning up for us, for always supporting us and for always making us so proud to be from Ilderton.” 

A whoop erupts from the crowd at the mention of the hometown they’re all so proud to be a part of. 

“We know we say that we really felt your presence and support out in Pyeongchang, and that is true, but it wasn’t just out there in South Korea that we knew you were behind us, we have felt that for the whole of lives. We want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all of the hard-work, support and belief that you have had in us and given to us throughout our whole lives. Today’s party can’t be anything more than a token of our appreciation because to pay back everything you’ve done for us is an impossible task. From both of us, thank you so much, and please enjoy the rest of the evening.” 

Roars were sent up as they threw kisses to the crowd and made their way down the stairs to join the people that the day was all about. 

They spent hours circulating the room and talking to people, thanking them, hugging them and reminiscing. At one point during the evening Scott insisted on relieving the one of the members of the catering staff of his BBQ-ing duties and started flipping steaks and serving up food to the folk of Ilderton. Wine and beer were flowing all evening, bottle after bottle being poured by the event staff, never allowing anyone’s glass to stand empty for too long. The town’s children were running around, shoes long lost and hair plastered to their foreheads as they enjoyed the bouncy castle and bountiful supply of sweets. 

Scott stepped back for a moment and surveyed the room – everyone looked so happy. He felt a teary happiness well inside of him as he looked around and saw all the people from all the years of his life in one room. He looked at the young children, many of whom he recognised from the rink, and wondered where their lives would take them and hoped that they too would find the happiness that he had with Tess. 

Tess. 

He eyes found her immediately in the crowded room. She looked so elegant, so at home, so natural. He knew that she tired quickly in such large groups. Not because she was disinterested, or because she found such things tedious, but because when she spoke to people she gave them her full attention, really engaged with them and took on their emotions, and they could be draining. He watched her hugging people, smiling, planting a kiss on every cheek she met. He was overcome with feelings of love for her and wondered if it was possible that he would ever care about anyone else so completely. 

“Scott?” his mother’s voice but through his thoughts “are you ok?” 

“I’m ok, Mom” Scott smiled a lazy and contented smile at her “I’m ok” 

“This is amazing, Scott. You two are so kind, everyone is having such a good time” 

“Thanks, Mom. That’s important to me, and to Tessa, too” 

“She’s one of us” Alma smiled as she joined her son’s gaze and watched Tessa. 

“She is” 

*** 

The darkness had passed and the first watery rays of dawn were breaking as the last few people left the party. Scott, thoroughly exhausted, threw himself down onto one of the benches outside the arena and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. 

“The sun’s coming up” Tessa said, her voice matching her tired frame as she joined in on the bench. 

“So much for our post-party family get together” Scott giggled 

“Yeah, that was somewhat optimistic” Tessa laughed 

“We could all have lunch tomorrow” Scott suggested “once everyone is up!” 

“Sounds good” Tessa replied as she lay back against the bench’s wooden back “oh, and Jess has invited us into Toronto for dinner, if you fancy it.” Tessa’s voice told him that it was ok if he didn’t want to take the trip “she’s in town with a friend of hers – I met him in Mexico – and they asked if we’d like to meet up” 

Scott’s tired mind whirred slowly – she wanted him to meet Marco, for them to have dinner together; she did want to tell him about their relationship. She wanted him to meet him rather than just hear about him. 

“Of course, sounds great” he smiled tiredly as he took her hand in his “come on, let’s get home and get some sleep” 

“Ok” she smiled as he pulled her to her feet “but keep your cold toes to yourself this time”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next...dinner!


	12. Summer Dusk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get your best rope ready - you have been warned!

Scott reversed his car into a parking space in the restaurant car park, checked his shirt collar in the interior mirror and grabbed his phone from the centre console, 

“I don’t think we’ve been here before?” he said to Tessa as she got out of the car. 

“No, we haven’t” she smiled as she joined him in front of the car. They had spent the drive from Ilderton to Toronto chatting to various tour related people on the phone, checking on deliveries, venues and timings. 

Scott looked at her as she smoothed her dress down against her hips. She looked beautiful, he hoped Marco appreciated what he had found in Tessa – beauty, intelligence and a loyalty that very few people found in relationships of any variety. He wondered whether she was nervous for them to meet, whether she had been rehearsing what she was going to say as they drove along in the car. He knew that she would want to get it ‘right’ - whatever that meant to Tessa. It likely meant keeping everyone happy, making sure that no one’s feelings got hurt, including her own. 

“Looks like a nice place” Scott commented as they walked towards the entrance. He really wanted her to feel at ease during the evening, he wanted her to know that he was excited to meet Marco and that he was happy that she was finding happiness. 

Marco and Jess were already seated at the table when a smiling waitress showed them to their seats. Scott could see that she was having to physically stop herself from asking for an autograph and a selfie with both of them – behaviour that would undoubtedly get her sacked from such a sophisticated restaurant. Jess and Marco both stood up to greet Tessa and Scott. Marco beamed when he saw Tessa, pulling her into a hug and kissing both of her cheeks in turn. Scott tried not to stare at him out of the corner of his eye as he hugged Jess. 

“Scott, this is my friend and colleague Marco Baresi” Jess explained as she motioned towards Marco. 

“Pleased to meet you” Scott smiled as he shook Marco’s hand. Having the opportunity to look at him properly, Scott saw that Marco had a strong jawline that dazzled with a bright smile. He was classically handsome in a sophisticated and ‘grown up’ way. He wondered how old he was – he certainly seemed to be older than Tess. 

“Marco is a fashion designer” Jess explained “he worked with us on the shoot in Mexico” 

Scott smiled. He loved that Jess had chosen to take control of the introductions, allowing Tessa to move at her own pace for the rest of the evening. 

Marco pulled out the chair that sat next to his and motioned for Tessa to sit down. Scott took the chair next to Jess and opposite Marco. 

“So, a fashion designer,” Scott smiled at Marco as they all looked through wine menus “that must be an exciting job?” He really did want to make the effort for Tessa. He wanted her to know that he was interested in her boyfriend and his life. 

“It is” Marco responded “although it’s not quite like many people think; it’s not all running around with gorgeous models in idyllic locations. The photo shoots that people see and comment on are part of a much longer, much more frustrating process of designing, testing and changing pieces” 

“I bet people think that about ice dancing, too” Jessica said “they must see you and Tess on the ice and going to all these different locations and think that, that is what your life is like all of the time. They don’t see the gym time and studio rehearsals.” 

“I don’t think people understand the time it takes to put a routine together” Teresa responded. 

“I think they imagine us having these really glamorous and interesting lives” Scott added “but when we’re competing that’s actually pretty far from the truth– we spend a lot of time doing the mundane things” 

The sommelier came over to take their wine order. 

“What can I get for you?” The young man smiled. 

“Are you guys going to drink wine?” Marco asked Tessa and Scott. 

“You go ahead, Tess” Scott smiled “I am happy to drive back” 

“We’ll have a bottle of red in that case” Marco smiled “and you, Jess?” 

“I’ll get a single glass of white” Jess said to the sommelier. 

“We’ll share a bottle of Merlot” Marco said indicating himself and Tess. 

“Certainly, Sir” 

“That’s ok, right?” Marco touched Tess’ arm as he checked with her. That was what he had ordered for them in Mexico and she had enjoyed it, so he made the assumption that she would like it again. 

“Perfect” Tessa smiled. 

Scott knew it would be perfect – Tessa loved Merlot and always chose it in restaurants. Looking at Marco he wondered what else he still had to learn about Tess? Did he know how she took her coffee? How she liked the cheese added to her favourite pasta sauce? Did he know that when she nervously fiddled with her fingers the best way to calm her was to place a hand at the base of her spine and rub a small circle that told her everything would be ok? Did he know how to push her enough to open up, but stop before she climbed into herself at pulled up the barricade? 

“Scott?” Tessa’s voice cut through his thoughts and brought him back to the table. 

“What, sorry...I” he stumbled, trying to save himself from embarrassment. 

“What do you want to drink?” Tessa eyed him with confusion 

“Sparkling water, please” Scott said to the young man “sorry, I was miles away there.” 

“No problem, sir” he smiled “I’ll be back with your drinks in a moment” 

Tessa looked at Scott and shot him a look that asked if everything was ok, he nodded in a way to tell her he was fine, that it was nothing. No one else would have even seen their conversation as they spoke in the crowded room, using their own secret language. A language that had saved them in a myriad of situations over the years – interviews, awkward dinners and even on the ice. 

“So, do you enjoy the travelling, Scott?” Marco asked as they waited for the drinks “I don’t travel half as much as the two of you do, and I find it exhausting” 

“It can be tiring,” Scott offered “but we often travel with friends when we are working, so that is always fun” 

“I dread to think what happens on those tours!” Jess smirked. 

“Not half the stuff that people think does” Scott smiled back “don’t worry, Marco, it’s all very innocent, despite what you may have read” 

The table laughed. 

“Your wine” the sommelier appeared at their sides. He uncorked the red wine and poured a little in to Tessa’s glass. Tessa raised the glass to her nose and took in the aroma before putting the glass to her lips and taking a sip of the wine. 

“That’s lovely” Tess smiled 

“Shall I pour?” the sommelier asked. 

“Please” Tess replied. 

With all in receipt of their drinks they turned their attention to the menu and began flicking through its pages. 

“How was the thank you party?” Jess asked as she tried to decide between salad and steak. 

“It was fantastic” Scott beamed “I think just about the whole town turned out. The floats were amazing, everyone put so much effort in.” 

“Scott’s family did so much work in preparation as well” Tessa added “we had a lovely lunch together today to thank them.” 

“They were amazing” Scott agreed. 

“And the tour is not far off now” Jess stated “how are the preparations going?” 

“There have been a few bumps along the way, but nothing that we can’t sort out” Scott responded.” 

“You and Ivy are coming to see it in Oshawa, right?” Tess smiled “you can come back stage afterwards” 

“She is already so excited” Jess sighed “I only wish it were sooner because I don’t know how I am going to keep her from combusting with excitement” 

“And which show are you coming to, Marco?” Scott enquired, wanting to make sure that he showed that Marco was welcome. 

“Your turn to come and see us at work” Tessa smiled at Marco. 

“Oh, I...” Marco stuttered – he was aware of the tour’s existence, but he hadn’t really thought about going to see it. 

“Well, when you’ve made plans just let me know and we can arrange dinner” Scott smiled. 

“Sure, that would be great” Marco responded. 

Tessa couldn’t help but smile at Scott. She loved that way he always made new people he met feel welcomed. He was much better at the social aspect of things than she was and knew that he would be more than happy to make the dinner arrangements for them all. 

“Are you ready to order?” the waiter asked as he sidled up to the table. 

They all nodded and gave their orders in turn. 

“Do you live in Italy, Marco?” Scott asked 

“I do” Marco replied “I live in the same village now as I grew up in. My mother and father still live there and my sister.” 

“Tessa’s always loved Italy, haven’t you?” Scott smiled. 

“It’s one of my favourite places” Tessa smiled at Marco “I love the buildings, the art, and especially the food” 

Marco let out a hearty laugh “my mother would love to hear you say that, she always complains about how my sister doesn’t cook traditional Italian food. She thinks women are responsible for the ‘death of real food’ as she calls it. She is old, she likes tradition.” 

“Well, Tess is such an old soul” Scott laughed “a perfect match” 

Tess laughed “we can rock out to Hall and Oates” 

The food arrived quickly. It looked delicious and all four tucked in immediately. 

Jess ordered another glass of wine and Tessa and Marco ordered another bottle of Merlot. As they ate they quizzed Jess about her family and she entertained them with stories of the twins and Ivy. There were plenty of giggles and much cooing as they ate. 

 

“That was amazing” Tess stated as she put her knife and fork onto her empty plate. 

“and filling” Scott added as he put a hand to his stomach. 

“I hope you’re not about to wimp out on desert, Scott” Jess quipped. 

“He never passes on desert, no matter how full he says he is” Tessa teased. 

“True” Scott smiled. 

“I am going to find the bathroom” Jess said standing from the table, Tess stood to join her. They headed out across the restaurant, keeping their heads down in an attempt to dodge the attention of other diners. They soon found their plight to be in vain as Tessa was spotted by a couple who were sitting just metres from the bathroom. Once spotted Tessa, being the kind person she was, stopped to take a selfie and sign a napkin. 

“I can see why relationships must be so difficult for her” Marco observed as he and Scott watched on “no wonder she is keeping it a secret” 

“She just needs time” Scott informed him “a relationship is a big thing for her, not just because of the fame, but because she doesn’t give her heart easily” 

“Which then makes it all the more easily broken” Marco said as he took a sip of his wine. 

“It does” Scott replied. He took another sip of his water. Now was his chance. The talk. He liked Marco, for now. And he seemed to treat Tess well, but he still needed to know that if he broke her heart he would have the full might of a Moir to deal with. 

“Have you met him?” Marco asked “does he meet with your approval? I imagine that you have seen plenty of men trying to woo her in the past” 

“Sorry?” Scott asked. 

“Sorry, that was too private” Marco stuttered “forgive me, I just assumed that with your partnership and with you knowing her so well that you liked to know any guys who show an interest in her. I’m sorry, Tess is an independent woman, I know, I wasn’t trying to suggest that...” 

“No, what do you mean ‘have I met him’?” Scott questioned “I’m here with you now” 

“Here with me?” Marco was getting very lost in this conversation 

“You’re dating Tessa, I’m here with you now, and, yes, I am most certainly here checking you out!” 

“Scott, I’m not dating Tessa” Marco looked at him with confusion and slight amusement 

“But I thought...” 

“Scott, I asked Tessa out when we were in Mexico, but she turned me down. She said she was already in a relationship. She said that none of her friends knew about it, but I figured that you don’t really count in the ’friends column’ I assumed that you knew who she was going out with.” Marco explained. 

Scott’s head was swimming. Not only had he totally misread the situation with Tessa and Marco (and embarrassed himself throughout the whole evening) Tessa was also treating him in the same way she was treating all of her other friends – her friends that she hadn’t spent the last 20 years of her life beside. Who was she dating and why hadn’t she told him? And what exactly had happened in Mexico? The bar? The beach? He had so many questions and there was only one person who could answer them – he was definitely skipping desert tonight. He needed to talk to her and this time it couldn’t wait. 

“Have you guys decided on desert yet?” Tessa smiled at Scott and Marco as she and Jess rejoined the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, let's get this sorted out, Tess!


	13. Summer Exposure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is - Tessa's heart is out there.   
> Don't worry, this is not the end - they have more to talk about yet, and then some decisions to make (and I don't mean which tour bus they hire!).

Scott was aware that Tessa had asked a question, that she and Jess were discussing something to do with desert, but the words were muffled, devoid of meaning, empty, floating up from the depths. He was aware of Marco saying something and then leaving the table – supposedly to visit the bathroom. 

“Marco is in town for a few days” Scott heard Jess say to Tessa as his mind re-entered he room. He was present enough to notice the grin of Jess’ face and the raising of her eyebrows “not quite Mexico, I know, but still, I’m sure the R and R would be just as satisfying” 

Tessa blushed as she rolled her eyes at Jess. Her friend really was persistent in these things. She was dying to set Tess up with someone. She was happy and married and wanted her friend to have the same thing. Tess saw it as being endearing and a joke, she allowed Jess her fun and was never annoyed with her matchmaking efforts. 

“What do you think, Scott?” Jess said playfully, keeping her eyes on Tessa as she spoke “Tess deserves a bit of fun, right?” 

Scott’s mind was lurching again ‘not quite Mexico’? So had Tess and Marco slept together? Had he been a one night stand? A holiday fling? But that just wasn’t Tess, never had he known her to hook up with anyone casually, it wasn’t her mindset. But then, tonight he was learning that here were a lot of things he didn’t know about Tessa. And a lot, it would seem, she told others and not him. 

“Excuse me” he mumbled “I need some air” he stood up, left the table and headed for the door. 

Tessa watched him leave. Something was up, she knew that much – Scott didn’t create a fuss like that, he didn’t do dramatics and storming off. She’d thought he’d been a little ‘off’ during the evening, not quite himself. She thought about following him out, going straight after him and trying to soothe him. Had she done so, she may have found him outside leaning against the wall, tears of exasperation welling in his eyes, she would have found him malleable and spent, needing her to hold him and to tell him that everything would be ok. However, in the time that passed before she decided to leave the restaurant and go outside, Scott paced the pavement back and forth, his sadness turning to anger. 

As he pounded up and down the pavement he felt every word from the evening replaying in his mind, taunting him. 

“Scott?” Tessa’s voice floated through the air to him “what’s going on?” 

He turned to face her then, still moving from foot to foot, angry energy flowing through every vein of his being. 

“I don’t know Tess, why don’t you tell me what’s going on?” he spat “you bring me here for dinner with some guy I’ve never met, a guy, who is...I mean what even is he Tess? Some one night stand? A holiday fling? A bit of fun? And the three of you are sitting there laughing at me – did you talk about it before we went out, the three of you? I feel humiliated and quite frankly, Tess, I am embarrassed by you, by the way you are acting. I don’t know when you’re lying and when you’re telling the truth – you tell him you’re in a relationship, you can’t date him, but then you’re also fooling around with him? I don’t understand what that means, Tess? Who are you lying to? Me? Jess? Marco? Yourself? Clearly you don’t have the respect for me that I thought you had, Tess. Or for yourself. Or is there someone else, Tess? Someone I don’t know about? Someone in your life who you’re keeping from me? Is this how it is with us now? Two decades and this is what you think we amount to...” 

His words are piercing the night air around her. His stream of anger relentless. She can see that he is completely consumed by it. The words are tumbling out as soon as they enter his mind, there are points at which he makes no sense and points at which the clarity of his pain is within touching distance. She waits for him to stop. She waits for him to calm down. She waits so that she can think about telling him the truth, explaining that he has got it all wrong, that there is no one else, that there never has been. She feels her heart beating loudly in her chest – she knows once the words are said she can never take them back, they can never be unuttered. He shows no signs of calming, his tirade becoming more pointed ,more hurt and more angry as it continues. She wants to stop him, she wants to put him out of the misery and the pain that he is losing himself deeper and deeper within. 

Her mind swims, her breath quickens. Before she knows it, it is said. 

“It wasn’t a mistake” she shouts over him, her own anger surfacing. 

Silence. 

They stand there opposite each other, chests heaving. Her words paralyse him. Her head is bent, she can’t look into his eyes; her soul is already beating raw and bare in front of him. 

“...for me, what happened at the cottage, the kiss, it wasn’t a mistake” her voice a whisper this time. 

The silence that hangs between them then is deep enough to drown them. They fight for breath, to stay afloat, waves crashing around them in the silent street. 

“Tess...” her name is all he can manage, it’s all that is in his mind, like his mind has shut down, all other thoughts lost. 

She feels her vulnerability as she stands there before him, more open than she’s ever been in front of any one. She feels the enormity of what she has done and involuntarily scrambles to the safety of anger. Her outburst is as uncontrollable as his had been. 

“You never let me speak, Scott. You never gave me a chance. You made a decision for the two of us without even consulting me, without even thinking about how I felt. You took that away from me. You dealt with your feelings, or you didn’t, and then thought you could deal with mine too. You have no idea how I felt about what happened because you never asked, you never wanted to know, you made your mind up and then made mine up for me” 

“You had yourself wrapped around another man the very next day, Tess” he spat “excuse me for thinking you wanted to move on!” 

“What are you talking about, my arms around another man?” 

“Marco” Scott pointed angrily at the restaurant’s window as he said his name “I saw you, Jess’ picture, in the bar with him, your arms around him, buried in his neck” 

Tessa’s mind quickly scanned through the photos Jess had taken and posted – the selfie with Sara! She and Marco were in the background, of course. She hadn’t thought anything of it – there was nothing to think about it. 

“Scott, we were in a bar, it was loud, I was speaking into his ear” Tessa’s anger wasn’t dissipating, now she was angry with him for his lack of communication and also for him assuming that she would be publicly draped around a man she had met only hours before “and thanks for the benefit of the doubt, Scott. Oh, and for the great communication skills.” 

Scott stopped as he tried to process the new information that he had received – Marco had been telling the truth; Tessa hadn’t been interested in him, she had knocked him back. But Marco had said that the reason she had given to him was that she was in a relationship. The cogs began to turn in his mind – his mind naturally leapt to another man, someone he didn’t know about, but she had no reason to lie to him about that, and she’d just said...she’d just said that kissing him wasn’t a mistake. The thought slowly made its way to the front of his mind, and even as it surfaced he had the urge to push it back down, to bury it, because surely she wasn’t saying that she wanted him. That the relationship she was referring to...the reason she had turned Marco down...that...it was him. His heart hammered in his chest. He wanted to believe it, but he had to hear her say it. He wouldn’t believe it unless he heard the words out in the open. 

He looked across at her. Her anger was spent and she stood there before him, head bowed, looking at the ground. 

“Tess...” his voice was shaking “Tess, you told Marco that you were in a relationship with someone else.” his voice lost some of its volume and the next question was barely more than a whisper when he spoke it “who did you mean?” 

This was it, she was here, this was the moment. She studied the floor, already knew each of its cracks, the moss that grew through its lines. She took a deep breath, raised her head slowly, met his eyes. 

“You”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with this and for all of your lovely, lovely comments.


	14. Summer Blooms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this works - I really wanted to get this right.  
> Finally they embrace the fear that has driven them in every direction but together!

**_“Tess...” his voice was shaking “Tess, you told Marco that you were in a relationship with someone else” his voice lost some of its volume and the next question was barely more than a whisper when he spoke it “who did you mean?”_**

**_This was it, she was here, this was the moment. She studied the floor, already knew each of its cracks, the moss that grew through its lines. She took a deep breath, raised her head slowly, met his eyes._ **

**_“You”_**

 

They stood there, neither one willing or able to break eye contact. They knew that when they looked away everything would look different to what it had just moments ago. The grass would be a different shade of green, the moon’s alignment would be altered, and their hearts would be beating to an altered rhythm. They had crossed a boundary that had faded to dust behind them, they were on new ground and it felt immediately unstable between their toes. They clung to each other’s eyes in fear of the newness. 

“We thought you’d done a runner on us” Jess’ voice sang from the entrance of the restaurant. 

The spell was broken. 

Tess whipped her body around to face her friend, Scott stayed standing behind her. 

“Sorry” Tess stammered “Scott...Scott was feeling unwell and I...” her breath was still ragged and she could hear Scott still frozen to the spot behind her. 

“I’m only joking, Tess” Jessica reassured her friend. 

“I know, yes, of course, I’m sorry” Tessa managed. The world was fading in and out of focus as she spoke. 

“I have to get back to the hotel” Jess explained as she walked towards Tess “I promised the boys I’d Skype with them” 

“Of course” Tessa responded, her mind starting to straighten. “The bill, I will transf...” 

“No please” Marco smiled at her, as he too stepped towards Tess “it is on me” 

“No, Marco, we can’t let you” Scott suddenly found his voice and emerged from behind Tessa “please, I...” 

“Scott, I insist” Marco smiled as he stretched his hand out to shake Scott’s. 

“Well, thank you” Scott said as he shook Marco’s hand “we must do this again some time, so that we can return the favour.” 

“I’d like that” Marco smiled in return. “I too have to return to my hotel – I have an early meeting tomorrow. So, I will wish you both good night”. He leaned over to Tess and gave her a parting hug and a kiss on each cheek. 

“Thanks for dinner, Marco” Tessa said simply. 

“Shall we walk you back to your car?” Jess made the friendly offer. 

“Actually, we’re going to stay in Toronto for the night” Tess informed her “it’s late to drive back now, and I’m sure Scott will feel better in the morning” 

Scott’s ears pricked up and his heart missed a beat – this was all moving so fast, Tessa was moving so fast. 

“Sounds sensible” Jess responded as she moved towards Scott “I hope you feel better soon, Scott. Thanks for tonight” 

“Thanks” Scott smiled as he hugged her goodbye. 

And then they were alone. 

“We’re staying because we need to talk” Tessa said without turning around, her back still to Scott. 

“Tess, will you please turn around and look at me” 

She swivels slowly to face him. 

“I am sorry” He can’t even say what for. He is sorry for not listening to her, for being an ass about Marco, for pushing her away, for putting her on the spot, but most of all, for ever doubting her. 

“Let’s go and get a drink” she said simply. 

They ordered a taxi to the Hilton hotel. They knew they could slink into a corner and enjoy some sense of anonymity in the large and darkened bar area. They had used the hotel’s bar before to meet with sponsors and members of their team. Nowhere was completely safe, that much was true, but they felt that there would be some chance of privacy there. 

They both headed straight for a table in the corner that was against the wall. They turned the high-backed chairs away from the most crowded area of the room and sat next to each other in the dim light. A waiter appeared straight away and Scott ordered a beer that he knew would do nothing to calm his nerves, but everything to soothe the scratch that was currently burning in his dry throat. Tessa opted for another glass of red wine. The waiter left, and silence fell between them. This was it – really it. No distractions, out of the public eye and nowhere to run. What flowed from their mouths in the minutes that would inevitably pass would shape and change their lives forever. One way or another, whatever the outcome, whatever they decided and whatever their hearts decided for them, this moment could never be undone. 

The drinks arrived and Scott took a long, greedy gulp of his cold beer. Tess sipped at her wine. 

“Scott, I am going to start this because I feel like I’ve not had the chance to say anything at all about how I feel” Tessa took control, hoping that the butterflies in her stomach couldn’t be heard in her voice. “we’ve just been through the most unifying experience of our lives so far. We decided that the comeback would be about us, our way, and we did everything right. We’ve known each other for two decades, but in the past couple of years I feel like we’re closer than we’ve ever been, that we understand each other better than we ever have and that we respect each other more deeply than we ever have before. We have been through so much over the years, and there were times when it would have been so easy to fall together, to shut out the world and all of the things in it, but we didn’t because we knew that what we had was too fragile to withstand that kind of emotional strain. And we’ve talked before about how denying that, being on the precipice made our work more authentic at times as we used the yearning neither of us wanted to address. And if we’re honest, you and I both know that, that was never stronger than when one of us was in a relationship with someone else.” 

Scott exhaled at the honesty – it was a place they’d not been, a subject that not broached, but he knew it was true. 

“It was never the right time for us, we were ever in the same mindset at the same time, we spent years just missing each other and the moment that we needed. But I think that was for the best. I think we needed the maturity that the last few years has brought us and, more than anything, I needed that” 

Scott’s brow creases at the suggestion that Tessa is the one of them that ever needed to mature. 

“I know people see me as being this strong woman who is always in control, an ice queen, emotions under wraps, and in many ways I suppose that is what I wanted people to see. I wanted people to see that because the truth is I am not confident when it comes to my heart. The thought of laying myself bare to someone, of giving them some control of how I feel, of allowing them to hold every piece of my heart scares me to death. But, of course, Scott, you already know that because you know all of me.” 

His eyes look down to his drink as he takes in her words. 

“When the Olympics ended, after the whirl wind, even during the whirl wind, this sense of loss invaded me. The sense of it all being over, not just the Olympics, but the comeback, the routine, the bubble we had created around ourselves, I knew that was going to fade, to slip away and I had no idea how we would ever replace that. I know you felt that too, so I know that you understand. I expected to continue feeling down, for it to get worse, you read about athletes who fall into a depressive episode after big wins, or turn to drugs, seeking the thrill and the high, and I was scared of that. But, then, how I felt started to change in a way that I just didn’t expect. I started to feel relaxed, I started to feel clear and it was like the air had become thinner, in a good way, like it was pure, and I started to feel a contented happiness that I just haven’t felt before. Sure, we were still busy, we were still being quizzed and questioned and it was hectic, but I felt more free in those weeks than I had in my whole life. But, Scott, it wasn’t that I was free of work, or that I was free of competition, or even that I was free of pressure, it was that I was free to feel. I was free to feel what I wanted. I no longer had to regulate and check my feelings, telling myself to be calm before we headed to the boards, telling myself to focus as we took the ice, counting as we skated, guarded, disciplined, determined – there was nothing that I had to make myself feel, I was free to allow my feelings to come and go and to be.” 

“And then I turned up at the cottage” he was starting to put the pieces together. 

“And then you turned up at the cottage, and my feelings were free and...” 

“But in the lake, when I kissed your neck, you pulled away” 

“Fear doesn’t just disappear, Scott. We had spent two decades pulling and pushing each other, I couldn’t just let go of that so easily” 

“And on the beach?” 

“On the beach, the wine, the stars, I started to let down the barrier that I had erected, I started to allow my fingers to loosen around the control I was clawing on to in the lake. And then I went away to Mexico, all of these thoughts washing around in my brain and I felt them swirling out of control. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, my mind wandered down avenues before I had the time to stop it. When Marco asked me to dinner I felt like I would have been betraying you by saying anything other than that I was in a relationship. My mind was all over the place, Scott, but I also felt excited - I felt like perhaps there was something new and unchartered about to happen and it scared me, but I was also hurtling towards it with no intention of putting on the brakes. 

“And then I put on the brakes” Scott understood “I told you it was a mistake” 

“Scott, I don’t expect you to feel the same, I am not telling you this because...” 

“Tess, please, can I explain?” 

“Of course” 

“I know that you’ve just said you feel it is you that is not mature emotionally, and that the Olympics and the comeback really helped you with that, and that’s obviously led you to this sense of understanding, a sense of enlightenment. But, Tess, you over-estimate me in thinking that I am in some way sorted about how I feel and what I think. After the Olympics, you’re right, it was crazy and that sense of loss was so real – one day we were putting our soul into the greatest work of our lives and the next it was all over. It felt surreal and I felt it weathering me. Tess, unlike you, I didn’t think about it, I didn’t examine it – I let it happen, I feared what I would find if I dug inside my mind. I allowed my mind to live for me, to guide me, to take me with it on a journey that I had no idea about. But it wasn’t freedom like you explain it, I wasn’t aware, I was just being carried along. At the cottage, in the lake, I wasn’t thinking, I wasn’t making a move, I wasn’t trying to start anything with you, I was simply being controlled by the feelings that I allowed to take over. I didn’t think about the consequences, I didn’t give mind to the situation or where it would lead, all I knew, all I felt, was that I wanted to be connected to you and I never wanted to let you go. I wanted to feel your skin beneath my lips and it was like a thirst. It wasn’t until you pulled away that I realised the rest of the world still existed and that you were you and I was me, and that wasn’t something that we did. But, Tess, it felt so right, deep down in my soul it felt like peace and stillness and whole” 

She took a deep breath and swallowed hard. 

“On the beach that night, when you kissed me, everything just felt so easy and so clear, like lying there together beneath the stars with your body pressed against me and your lips on mine was the most natural thing in the world, like I had found my place at last.” he paused, vulnerability pulsing through his skin “I was terrified, Tess” it’s a confession, one that exposes a rawness he’d never trust anyone else with “I had never felt anything so real and I was so scared of what that might mean.” 

Tess nodded her head to show she understood and that she supported him; that he could bare all of his soul to her and she would never do anything but handle it with care. 

“When you left I couldn’t deal with what had happened, I didn’t have the control to. Then, when Jess posted that selfie and I saw you and Marco in the background time flew back a decade and the anger that I thought I had grown out of roared in my ears. I saw you there with another man and it touched every part of the raw heart I had left exposed. But it’s not a decade ago, I’m a grown man, and so I headed to the gym” 

“Your mom said you’d been working out, I assumed the tour, the party...” 

“I worked out my anger, but in its place came the distance that I needed to protect my heart. I told myself that you wanted me to see that picture in order to tell me that what we’d done was a mistake. I made myself believe that you didn’t want to address what had happened at the cottage and that this was your way of telling me. I know that was stupid, I know that the one thing we have worked on more than anything, one of the best things about us now is our communication, but this was just too big for me. I resigned myself to being happy for you, and, Tess, believe me, it was genuine. I wanted you to be happy, I want you to be happy, and so I wanted to make what had happened go away, for both of us. When I told you it was a mistake, on the drive home from the airport, I deliberately put you in a position where you couldn’t respond. I wanted to make it easy for you, that much is true, Tess. But, I also wanted to make it easy for me, too.” 

“Scott, what did you think dinner tonight was about?” Tessa asked quietly. 

“I thought you were going to introduce me to Marco” 

“Scott, I would have told you, I wouldn’t have put you in that situation” 

“I know, Tess. Forgive me. My head is...” he rubbed at his forehead. 

Tess couldn’t help but let out a giggle. Scott looked at her in confusion. Of all the things this situation was, funny was not one of them! 

“I’m sorry” she smiled “it’s just the irony; we’ve just spent the best part of two decades working on communication, and yet we’ve managed to make a complete mess by not communicating” 

Scott smiled as he too saw the irony of their situation. They were both lost in the relief of laughter for a moment. Following which a serious silence fell between them. 

“So where does this leave us now?” Scott vocalised the question for them both. 

Tessa ran though the possibilities in her mind – she could throw the question back at him, make him start the conversation, she could suggest that sleep on it, or she could find the courage to say what was really lurking the back of her throat. 

“I’d like to see where this could go” she said sincerely “our relationship, I mean. I’d like to…” 

“Date?” Scott finished for her. 

She giggled again “doesn’t quite seem to fit when you’ve been at one another’s sides for twenty years, does it?” 

“Not at all” he giggled back “Look, why don’t we agree not to change anything. To allow things to go where they do, but no holding back, no barriers and no boundaries” 

“Freedom” she stated. 

“Freedom” he agreed. 

“I’d like that” her voice dropped to a whisper. 

“Me too” he responded. 

As they finished the last of their drinks they both allowed the changed air around them to enter their lungs. It felt so strange to Tessa how she could be sitting in a room of people for whom the world was exactly as it had been an hour ago, and yet for her, in exactly the same amount of time, the world had changed completely. This moment, so mundane and so ordinary for everyone else would become, was already, a defining moment in her life. 

“Tess, tonight, are we staying…” 

“I booked two rooms on the way” she said simply “ we can get the keys from reception when we’re ready” 

“Great” 

“Scott, I booked two rooms because I didn’t know how this conversation was going to end, but also because I need for us to take this slowly, it would be so easy to zoom ahead after all this time…” 

He put his hand on her knee to stop her “Tess, I understand, and it’s what I want too. Let’s take our time – today has been huge, a lot to process.” 

“It has” she agreed “ and, Scott, if we’re going to do this we have to talk. No more assumptions, no more miscommunications. Openness and honesty, always, agreed?” 

“Agreed” 

They put their empty glasses on the table and headed for the reception desk in order to collect their room keys. Their trip across the lobby and to the elevator was silent. Not an awkward silence, or even a companionable silence, it was a silence in which they both allowed what had happened to seep into their skin. With rooms next to each other they entered their rooms with the promise of breakfast the next morning. 

 

Tessa was lying in bed studying the ceiling pattern when her phone buzzed. She didn’t need to look to know that it was Scott, to know that he too was lying awake just behind the wall. 

_Hey_

_Hey_

_Can’t sleep?_

_Nope._

_Nor me._

 

A moment passed. 

 

_Can I come over for a minute?_

Another moment passed. 

_Sure._

Tessa heard his door close followed by a gentle tap on her own. She moved towards it and opened it. He was fully clothed, clearly taking the time to dress before coming over. She was wrapped in the bed’s sheet – trying to pull on her dress before opening the door seemed too much effort. He slid inside the room and closed the door behind him. 

“ I know we’re taking things slowly” he whispered “ but seeing as we have already kissed, I was wondering whether a goodnight kiss might be permitted?” A cute smile played on his eyes. 

“I think that’s allowed” Tess whispered back, a smile spreading across her face. 

Scott smiled as he leant in, but as his lips came within touching distance of hers, his smile changed to tender desire. He slowed, connecting with her eyes, speaking to her in their secret language, but this time with new vocabulary emerging, their language evolving on their lips. Closing the space between them slowly, his lips made contact with hers. Both sets of lips trembled with anticipation. His hand came up to her chin and his thumb stroked her cheek. He tilted her chin towards him and planted the softest of kisses on her lips. She responded, kissing him back with a care that told him she understood the preciousness of the moment between them. His free hand made its way to her bare shoulder as the kiss deepened – not to tension, or to overflowing desire, but to a depth that said this kiss was the start of a new era for them. She ran her tongue lightly across the flesh of his lower lip, tasting the newness of him. He sucked gently at her bottom lip in response, telling her that there was so much more for them to share now. 

They pulled apart at the same time, leaving the kiss perfect and new on each other’s lips. 

“Mmm” Scott smiled at her quietly. 

Tessa smiled in return, no words needed. 

“See you at breakfast” he whispered, binding the intimacy between them. 

“See you at breakfast” she smiled back as she watched him leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be on more short chapter following this one.


	15. Autumn Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter. Short and sweet.

Abbotsford October 6th 2018

Scott padded quietly towards the back of the bus. He stepped over several pairs of shoes that had been discarded in the main living area. Jackets were thrown over the backs of chairs and half filled water bottles were littered over the table. It was strange to hear the bus so quiet. He loved the bustling and happy atmosphere that usually filled it. He loved having his friends around him, multiple conversations that he could drift in and out of. But for now, as he slowly and quietly turned the handle of the door leading to the room that Tess and Kaitlyn were sharing, he was grateful of the empty silence. Kaitlyn’s bed, on the left of the room, was vacant and neatly made. 

The bed on the right was not vacant and certainly not neatly made; the sheets were were tangled around her legs and her brown hair was tousled and spread across her pillow. He crept over, dropped his sweat pants to the floor and slipped into bed beside her. He felt her begin to stir beside him. Despite being deep within sleep her body immediately and subconsciously slotted into his.

“Morning” he whispered into her ear as he pecked the skin of her neck.

“Scott…” her protests were weak, but even in her slumbering state she was aware of their secret.

“Everyone is our for breakfast” he whispered to her, not needing to hear the rest of her protest to know what was going through her mind.

“Didn’t you want to go?”

Scott wrapped his arms around her waist and his lips pressed against the back of her neck. He felt her stir beneath his lips as she surfaced from her sleep.

“I prefer breakfast in bed” he responded as he turned her round into her back. He looked down at her, smiling at her opening eyes and her sleep blushed cheeks. 

He leant down and placed a sweet kiss on her lips. Keeping their hands and lips off each other every day made these stolen moments all the more precious. 

She kissed him back, loving his playfulness. She ran her fingers through his growing hair as his lips left hers and travelled down her neck and towards her chest. 

Her back arched as he lingered there for a moment before disappearing beneath the sheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been such a pleasure, thank you so much to everyone who has interacted with this story and with me.   
> If you have any fic ideas, always throw them my way.   
> Much love, always.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think. Comments are always good and provide the desire to continue.


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